Based on that headline alone, we can all agree that everything that Vivienne Westwood says is:
Dame Vivienne Westwood, the fashion designer whose (NSFW alert) naked ginger body was my iPhone wallpaper for weeks, is back with more advice on fashion and food for the peasants. Damn Viv (typo and it stays) once said that the poors should buy less clothes, meaning that instead of buying a $6 t-shirt at H&M, poors should save up to buy a $50 better quality t-shirt instead. Great advice, Damn Viv! Dame Vivi is a vegetarian and has long campaigned for not using chemicals in food. During an interview with Dino Sofos on BBC Radio 5 (via The Daily Mail) about a letter she delivered to the British government from “millions” of people who are sick of genetically modified food, Dame Vivi said that people who can’t afford to buy organic, should still buy organic but just buy less of it. So instead of buying a cartful of food from your regular grocery store, buy a tiny basketful of organic shit from Whole Foods instead! Once again, Dame Vivi spit out some great advice that everybody who can’t afford organic appreciates! What would we do without her wisdom?
Britain’s Labor MP Michael Meacher, who was also a guest on the show, said that most people would rather eat organic (Speak for yourself, Meachie. Preservatives are delicious!) and when Dino piped in with, “Not everyone can afford it,” Dame Vivi shot back with, “Eat less!” Dino said that some people are going to food banks, because they can’t afford to buy food and Dame Vivi said that the food banks should have better quality food. She went on to say that processed foods ain’t shit and they’re one of the big reasons why people get fat. She believes we should only eat what the planet gives us, which is why she only eats fruits and vegetables and stays away from meat.
Of course, she got a whole lot of shit thrown at her for saying that. The chairman of Trussell Trust, a food bank charity, slapped at her by saying that for them it’s not about serving organic, it’s about feeding healthy and nutritious food to hungry and starving people. Vivienne has backtracked and claims her words were twisted even though anybody who listens to her interview knows they weren’t. She claims she was talking about meat, you fools! If your poor brains weren’t rotting from eating delicious chemicals, you’d get that! She queefed up this statement to HuffPost UK:
“I’m deeply upset if anyone would think I don’t care about starving people or don’t understand the terrible situation some people are in, quite the opposite, I have spent years campaigning for social and human rights issues.
My comments were related to eating less meat. People are eating far too much factory farmed meat and junk food which is bad for you and not providing the nutrients you need. You can source good food and farmed meat for less money.”
There’s no need to explain yourself, Dame Vivi. You are the Marie Antoinette of our time. Preach to the people on your throne made of organic cucumbers. Let them eat organic cake!
“Eat less!” I’d love to see her say that to a family of 4 who eats a dinner of boxed mac and cheese with slices of ham in it because it costs way less than a bushel of organic kale. I think Dame Vivi means well and she is screaming at the government too, but damn she’s a 100% mess of the 1%. I don’t listen to any advice Dame Vivi gives, because I told myself a long time ago to never trust anyone whose eyebrows look like period skid marks. But I still want to see a show where Vivienne Westwood and Kunty Karl give diet and fashion advice to the poors while sitting on gold and organic velvet settees. They’d probably tell us that if you can’t afford a 4-week holiday in the South of France, then feed yourself to the wolves because there’s no reason to go on! But make sure you eat organic first, because even the wolves deserves to eat healthy food.
And all this talk about food has got me craving boxed mac and cheese, In-N-Out and Taco Bell. But don’t worry, Dame Vivi, I’ll browse the organic menu at Taco Bell before I order.
Pic: The Wild