ASSES. Its been nothing but asses this week. Like Shark Week, but for butts! First Beyonce’s Photoshopped ass, then Kim Kardashian’s oiled-up attention-seeking ass, then Taylor Swift’s lack-of–ass ass. And now we’re going to talk about Jennifer Lopez’s inspirational ass. That’s right, without JLo’s ass, we might never have gotten one of music’s greatest gifts to the world – “Baby Got Back“.
In light of Kim Kardashian’s recent appearance on the cover of Paper Magazine with her double-stuffed silicone sacks hanging out, butt connoisseur Sir Mix-a-Lot admitted to TMZ that yes, Kim has a good ass (how kind of you, Sir), but it doesn’t hold a fart-scented candle to Jennifer Lopez’s. Sir Mix-a-Lot says that after he saw JLo’s Fly Girl booty on In Living Color, it inspired him to write the Grammy Award-winning ass appreciation anthem “Baby Got Back”. He also said that more than 20 years later, JLo’s butt is still the best butt.
But enough about what Sir Mix-a-Lot thinks about JLo’s butt; what I really want to know is what his anaconda thinks of it! After all, he is the decision maker. I picture it went down something like this:
September 22, 1991 – a young Sir Mix-a-Lot sits down on the couch with a 2L bottle of Crystal Pepsi and bag of Pizzarias to watch In Living Color. After a solid Fireman Bill sketch and an appearance by Homey D. Clown, the camera pans over to the Fly Girls and out of the smoke pops Jennifer Lopez. “She’s…she’s beautiful! Little in the middle, but with an ample derrière!” his anaconda whispers (by the way, I’m picturing his dick as a sock puppet). “What a vision!” anaconda cries. “An LA face, as well as an Oakland booty! We must compose a ballad about this gorgeous creature! Quickly, Sir Mix-a-Lot! Grab a pen!“