Because of your eyes constantly getting slapped with a giant greased-up plastic Christmas ham coming out of a trash bag yesterday, you probably developed a temporary trash bag phobia and couldn’t even get near one out of fear that an oily triple load ass will pop out and swallow you whole. Well, leave it to ginger angel of perfection Julianne Moore to make trash bags safe and friendly again. At the AFI screening of her movie Still Alice in L.A. last night, Julianne wore a dress that looks like it’s made out of recycled trash bags, black tape and a dash of YES. Julianne’s ensemble says Twiggy of the trash heap and that is the look.
Julianne is apparently the frontrunner for the Best Actress Oscar for Still Alice, but I’m not about to get my hopes up. Julianne should’ve won for Safe and I screamed “ROBBED!” when she wasn’t even nominated. Julianne should’ve won for Boogie Nights and I screamed “ROBBED!” when she didn’t win. Julianne should’ve won for Magnolia and I still have scars on my tonsils from the sores I got while screaming “ROBBED! ROBBED! CALL THE POLICE!” after she was not nominated. Her “I sucked other men’s cocks” scene was a revelation. So I’m already spraying WD-40 down my throat, because I fully expect to scream “ROBBED!” again next year when she loses to Jennifer Aniston who will win for not wearing makeup.
Here’s more of ten-time Oscar theft victim Julianne Moore, her co-star Kristen Stewart and an Emo guinea pig that’s leasing space on KStew’s head at the Still Alice screening.