And So The Ass Wars Begin….

November 12, 2014 / Posted by:

Chelsea Handler isn’t the kind of bitch to miss out on an opportunity to show her ass (and I mean that in more ways than one), so she used that cover of Paper Magazine (or as you call it, The Cover That Your Motherfucking Not Right Ass Won’t Stop Hitting My Eyes With) as an excuse to Instagram a selfie of her nalgas. Chelsea continued to fight for her right to show her nakedness on Instagram and posted a picture of the ass that Jennifer Aniston does tequila shots off of when they’re partying in Cabo. Chelsea also let everyone know that her ass is all-natural and hasn’t been touched by a Photoshop tool or a jumbo syringe full of clear soil jelly. It truly is National Make An Ass Out Of Yourself Day.

Can you believe more than 2 ass can fit on the same screen? Guess which one’s real. Your move, instagram.

Chelsea slapped at Instagram, because when she posted a picture of her bare tits next to Putin’s bare tits, they took it down three times. Chelsea queefed up the picture of her nipples again today and asked Instagram why it’s okay for a certain fame whore to post her naked body, but it’s not okay for her to do it.

Just so I’m clear, Instagram…it’s ok to use nudity to sexualize yourself on your site, but not to make a joke? I’m just so confused.

Chelsea probably secretly wishes that Instagram will keep taking her pictures down so she can rebel against them by showing us more of her naked ass body, but I’m all for her #FREETHECRACK campaign if she gets hos whose asses I actually want to see to join the fight with her. I’m talking to you, Anderson Cooper, Prince Hot Ginge, Idris Elba, Carrot Top, ASkars and literally anybody besides Kummy Kakes and Chelsea.

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