I know it’s going to be a good day when it starts with a beautiful fuck bomb falling into my ear holes, so I thank Megyn Kelly from Fox News for that. While dressed up like a modern day pilgrim school teacher on her show The Kelly File last night, Megyn Kelly made Freud pop a boner when she introduced Arkansas’ old governor Mike Huckabee as the host of “Fuckabee.” I love it. Naomi Watts loves it. We all love it. Let the fuck bomb fly, Megyn!
The way Mike Fuckabee perks up makes me think that he was hoping the words, “...me, you beautiful man you,” followed the word “fuck” out of Megyn’s mouth. I don’t even know why he reacted at all. If my name was Mike Huckabee, I’d be surprised if everyone didn’t call me Fuckabee. (Side note: Fuck a bee sounds like the quickest way to a swollen peen. Fuck A Bee also sounds like the name of a bee hate blog ran by Nicolas Cage.) Megyn later apologized for the fuck bomb and said she has the heart of a 12-year-old boy, which means that after the show, she smoked pot with the older kids in the church parking lot, played video games for 4 hours and got yelled at by her mom for pissing all over the toilet seat. Or it means that she prefers to use 12-year-old boy hearts for her sacrifices instead of goats.
“Something else that happened on the program is also getting a lot of attention on Twitter and including this tweet from some nice man named Sean who said ‘Megyn you’re a delight to watch and gave a stoic performance after your slip up with Governor Huckabee’s name.’ I thought I was stoic too – I have a heart of a 12 year old boy.”
Megyn didn’t have to explain or apologize. It happens. Sometimes the nickname you always call someone behind their back slips out in front of them. That is why I don’t even flinch when my friends call me “dumb trick bitch” to my face.