Taylor Swift wants all of us to know that she knows we think she’s a Kennedy-obsessed, pretty boy stalker who lives in a fancy castle full of bored, white animals and goes full Alex Forrest on a dude who does her wrong. The video for Tay Tay’s new single “Blank Space” is supposed to be a parody of herself, but please. This video was obviously put together with actual security camera footage from Taylor’s mansion. This is a Taylor Swift documentary!
The video starts out with Taylor of Sunnybook farms living a picture perfect rich girl life with her pristine white pussy Olivia Benson, her magical animals and her WASP prince of a boyfriend. They spend their days living in a Kennedy wet dream by bike riding in the fancy living room, frolicking in the gardens, riding white stallions and doing all the things that Tay Tay definitely does in real-life on a daily basis. It’s all pretty white animals and garden picnics until she catches her man texting some whore and the deranged Skipper doll we all know comes out. She tortures him with a voodoo apple (which they picked together during one of their apple picking trips, duh) and tries and fails to recreate Angela Bassett’s legendary and inspirational “Bernadine’s Rage” scene from Waiting to Exhale.
There’s something missing in that video… At the very end, Taylor should’ve gutted her man, pulled out his bones and veins, made a guitar out of that shit and then used that bones and veins guitar to write a song about how he’s an asshole piece of shit who fucked her over. But other than that, that music video is spot-on and typical Tay Tay. Taylor really gets Taylor.
And more importantly, what does Queen Aretha think about Taylor’s new video?