Wearing clothes is hard, it really is. Unless you’re wearing a Snuggie, there are so many things that could go wrong: Camel Toe, Pancake Ass, Hot Dog Boob. Elizabeth Banks must know this, because instead of torturing her titties by wrapping them in a too-tight bandage dress or cramming her ass into some kind of high-waisted satin pant contraption, she showed up to the London premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 this evening wearing a billowy sleeveless chiffon duvet cover with a built-in blanket cape. Normally a dress like this might make me shout “FUG!”, but not this time and here’s why:
1. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing someone who looks like at any given moment could drop to the floor and take a comfortable nap.
2. Elizabeth’s dress reminds me of this rich girl I knew when I was 8 named Sabrina. Her nanny let her eat icing sugar by the spoonful, and you couldn’t touch anything in her house because it was opulent as hell. This dress reminds me of the duvet in her parent’s second bedroom, which I believe was used solely for fucking.
3. Elizabeth’s dress also reminds me of the one the greedy-ass queen from The Queen Who Stole The Sky makes when she steals the sky, and that’s super hot, because that crazy bitch stole the sky! THE SKY!
Here’s more of honorary shameless slut Elizabeth Banks working some “The bottom half of my dress is filled with farts and nobody can tell” eleganza in London this evening in what will no doubt be the first of 4,083 Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 premieres, as well as the rest of your mom’s bedding sale haul, including Jennifer Lawrence wearing an embroidered mattress cover, Jena Malone wearing the cover from a yellow satin bolster pillow, and Natalie Dormer looking like a fancy scented underwear drawer sachet.