“That’s genius!” screamed Lindsay Lohan, as she began frantically rummaging around in Dina’s garage for her old bicycle.
According to TMZ, Andy Dick has once again redefined the word HOT MESS. Last week, Andy was riding his bike around Hollywood (note: I ride my bike everywhere, and even I wouldn’t ride around Hollywood. That shit is dangerous! I don’t wanna get hit by one of those homemade tour buses!) when he saw a guy wearing a chain he liked. So he pulled over and asked if he could see it. The guy recognized it was Andy Dick, thought “Surely a man with a history of being crazy won’t do anything crazy“, and handed over the $1000 necklace. That’s when Andy grabbed it and rode off.
TMZ says the owner of the chain then went to police to report that Andy Dick had stolen his joo-rey, but they couldn’t find him anywhere. Unfortunately for Andy, the police found him last night near his apartment in Hollywood, and they arrested his chain-stealing getaway bike-riding buttered popcorn-looking ass. He was released early this morning when someone posted his $25,000 bail.
The only thing I really want to know is how high was Andy Dick when this happened. You’ve got to be pretty fucked to steal someone’s necklace and ride away on a bicycle. Then again, you’ve got to be pretty fucked to hand over a necklace to Andy Dick on a bicycle. Then again, if you’ve ever lived in Hollywood (which I did for a very short time), you know that Andy Dick rolling up to you on a bike and asking to see your necklace is not even that weird. I’ve seen a Spiderman wearing Ugg boots slap another Spiderman with a Wetzel’s Pretzel at a bus stop once. So yeah, dude who handed over your necklace, I get it. You’re dumb, but I get it.