Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Monique Anderson, comedian, YouTuber and a different kind of size queen!

On Howard Stern (via Playboy) the other day, he played a pro-little dick sermon from Monique Anderson, the captain of the Team Little Dick movement who is just not built to handle Hammaconda-sized dicks and doesn’t want any of those obese python peens near her froat or cooze. While some of us cock-hungry sluts “ooooh” and “aaaaaah” over dicks that look like an XXXL tube sock stuffed with a quadruple layer Cuban sandwich, Monique has to reach for the painkillers and Dramamine when she sees a Loch Ness crotch monster.

You should really watch all of Monique’s anti-monster dick rant, but if you can’t, because you’re at something called a job, quit immediately. A workplace that frowns upon you hearing sermons about dick is not worth your time! But if you really can’t quit, because you need money to buy the necessities like booze, the good shit, lube and pork rinds, then here’s a few points that Jon Gosselin’s new dream girl makes about Godzilla dicks that’ll turn you into a human Auntie Anne’s.

“I like to go nuts on a penis. I like to suck a dick where I feel like I am in power. Big dick weakens me as a woman. I can’t suck it the way I want to suck it and I can’t fuck it the way that I want to fuck it.”

“Big dicked men like to put people in pretzels and then go nuts with a big ass dick, causing problems and leaving me with dick in my back after sex.”

“I don’t like to suck a dick where I feel like I’m going to THROW UUUUHP.”

“I don’t want to suck dick and feel like I’m going to throw up on the dick. It’s too big, it’s too wide, big ego like Beyonce. I don’t have time to be embarrassing myself.”

“I’m Team Little Dick, only because I do pilates on little dicked men. I do pilates. I like to exercise my mouth. 1-2-3 lick balls.”

Dick left in her backbone after sex? Who is Monique Anderson fucking? A Predator? What kind of alien insect ejects its mammoth peen in you after sex? Can I get its number? I think Monique means that when a dude with a ten foot long dick finishes busting, it takes a few hours for him to gently pull out of you. A few well-trained firemen have to guide his long dick out of you so he can wrap it around the hose holder mounted to his crotch and go on with his day. Monique makes some good points, but I don’t know how she’s going crazy on a tiny dick when every six seconds she has stop and say, “Oop, slipped out again.

Here’s Monique talking about the trials and tribulations of fucking and sucking dick so big that it’ll stay with you afterward.

I’m not Team Little Dick and I’m not Team Big Dick. I’m Team Any Dick at this point. And I’m also Team Monique. I got sucked into her YouTube Channel and if you have time, watch this video where she gets into why she thinks people are gay. She says, “Seizure nuts.” I’ll leave it at that.

(For Patrick and Jodi)

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