Daddy Spears finally got his shit together and managed to hire a member of Hollywood royalty (we are talking about Susan Saint James here) for the title of Brit Brit Spears’ newest chaperone/boyfriend/doggy bag holder. Just two months after Normal Guy Dave got pink-slipped and took his ass to the back of the unemployment line, Brit Brit has started hanging around Charlie Ebersol, seen above in costume (I fucking hope) at his 30th birthday party 2 years ago. Charlie is the son of big-time TV producer Dick Ebersol and Susan Saint James. I know, Daddy Spears moves fast.
E! News says that Our Lady of Cheetos and this Charlie Ebersol dude met through “friends” and have been dating for only a few weeks. Some source dribbled this out:
“He is the sweetest guy ever and they are very much enjoying getting to know one another. They are both very happy and having fun. It’s just the beginning so no idea if it will become serious but right now they are having a lot of fun together.”
Charlie’s dad conceived Saturday Night Live with Lorne Michaels and he was the head bitch of NBC Sports for a while. I’m assuming everybody learned about Susan Saint James in American history class, so I’m not going to tell you all the stuff she was in. Charlie followed in his father’s producing footsteps and recently produced a non-trashy reality show called The Moment which helped people get a second chance at making their career goals come true. The show was special to Charlie, because he survived a 2004 plane crash that killed his brother Teddy.
Charlie also used to bump nipples with Sophia Bush and Maria Sharapova.
I don’t even know what a member of Hollywood royalty (again I’m saying that because his mom is Susan Fucking Saint James) and a member of hillbilly royalty have to talk about? Probably Breaking Bad. That’s usually what straight people talk about, right? If they don’t, it doesn’t matter. Talk is cheap when you’re one of Brit Brit’s contract pieces. All Charlie has to know how to do is order a Frapp, hold a Cheesecake Factory doggy bag and busy himself while she watches Frozen on her phone in between courses at Buffalo Wild Wings. I hope Daddy Spears signed Charlie to a long-term contract so that he can take Brit Brit home to meet his mom and Susan Saint James can inject some much-needed culture into her by showing her How to Beat the High Co$t of Living.
And here’s Brit Brit looking like she just got a shot of Botox in the mug and nips while leaving VONS yesterday.