Open Post: Hosted By Australian Entrepreneur Geoffrey Edelsten And His Stunningly Demure Fiancée

November 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Anybody who regularly reads this mess of a blog knows that 71-year-old bankrupt businessman Geoffrey Edelsten is an expert whorticulturist whose greatest skill in life is plucking and marrying the most delicate and genteel roses from the American section of the gold digger garden. My popped black balloon of a soul deflated all the way earlier this year when he and his gorgeous former HSOTD wife Brynne Edelsten broke up. But my soul filled up again when a few seconds later he found love with 25-year-old American model/performance artiste Gabi Grecko.

Even though Geoffrey is supposedly broke now (“Uh huh” said a banker in the Caymans), he and Gabi are still together and yesterday they showed up to the Melbourne Cup looking like this. I don’t know if Australia has Daylight Savings Time (and as always, I’m too lazy to Google or ask a friend), but if they do, then Geoffrey and Gabi must’ve gotten confused and set their clocks back a few days. Because messes obviously thought it was Halloween. Geoffrey looks like a Dick Tracy villain who goes by the name The Pissah and Gabi looks like an abandoned circus fairground that’s now home to a bunch of wild turkeys on meth. Those glitter brows are doing things to me, but other than that, trick needs less American Horror Story: Freak Show in her life.

Since Geoffrey Edelsten is not one to miss out on an opportunity to get as much attention as possible, he proposed to Gabi with a heart-shaped diamond ring during the Melbourne Cup yesterday. The image of true love is a 71-year-old disgraced businessman proposing to his 25-year-old girlfriend of a few months at a public event while he looks like a fancy piss stain and she looks like Clown Hawk Stripper Girl, Marvel’s least popular superhero who only works when one of the Avengers gets sick and none of their standbys are available. She’s the last superhero on the Avengers on-call list.

But whatever, like these two give a shit what I think about their messy outfits. They are in love, engaged and will be together forever or until Gabi finds out that Geoffrey’s really broke and has to pawn off that ring to buy a ticket back to the US.

There’s more pictures of these two lovebirds below and I also threw in pictures of Basement Baby looking like she’s wearing a maternity business suit made out of bathroom tile.

Pics: Splash

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