If your ear holes are dribbling out bleach today, then I’m guessing that over the weekend you soaked your head in a bath tub full of Oxi-Magic Clorox after keeping up with the fight between Lena Dunham (seen above looking like Slimer shit on her head at a book signing in London) and book reviewer Kevin D. Williamson.
Last week, the right-wing website Truth Revolt threw up excerpts from Lena Dunham’s book of personal essays, Not That Kind Of Girl, where she writes about how opened her 1-year-old sister’s vagina when she was 7 years old and found pebbles in there, among other beyond TMI stories. In his review for the conservative-leaning site, The National Review, Kevin accused Lena of “sexually abusing” her little sister Grace. Um, yeah, I’m going to place my order for a Team Fucking Absolutely No One t-shirt. You want one too?
The messiness started last week when Truth Revolt posted pieces of Lena’s book where she reaches to brand new oversharing heights of JUST STOP by writing about all the weird stuff she did to her sister Grace when they were both kids. Here’s the piece that started it all:
“Do we all have uteruses?” I asked my mother when I was seven.
“Yes,” she told me. “We’re born with them, and with all our eggs, but they start out very small. And they aren’t ready to make babies until we’re older.” I look at my sister, now a slim, tough one-year-old, and at her tiny belly. I imagined her eggs inside her, like the sack of spider eggs in Charlotte’s Webb, and her uterus, the size of a thimble.
“Does her vagina look like mine?”
“I guess so,” my mother said. “Just smaller.”
One day, as I sat in our driveway in Long Island playing with blocks and buckets, my curiosity got the best of me. Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina. She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked.
My mother came running. “Mama, Mama! Grace has something in there!”
My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things I did. She just on her knees and looked for herself. It quickly became apparent that Grace had stuffed six or seven pebbles in there. My mother removed them patiently while Grace cackled, thrilled that her prank had been a success.
In other parts of her book, Lena writes about how as she and Grace got a little older, she’d bribe he younger sister for affection. She’d give her candy for one-second kisses on the lips and would let Grace watch anything she wanted on TV if she just “relaxed” on Lena. Lena jokingly writes that she did anything that “a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl.” She also admits to masturbating next to her sleeping sister. That bath tub full of Oxi-Magic Clorox is calling your head’s name again.
I haven’t read Lena’s book (because you cannot make me) so I don’t know the context of those stories. But others who have read it say that Lena was talking about all the weird shit we do as kids while exploring our parts. Kevin D. Williamson didn’t see it like that and pretty much accused Lena of molesting her sister and that was the fired shot that set Lena off. On Saturday, she tweeted out a stream of rage where she says that while her sister is laughing about this, she’s disgusted that her words are being twisted and she’s being made out to be a PedoBear Jr. (or a PedoCub):
The right wing news story that I molested my little sister isn’t just LOL- it’s really fucking upsetting and disgusting. And by the way, if you were a little kid and never looked at another little kid’s vagina, well, congrats to you. Usually this is stuff I can ignore but don’t demean sufferers, don’t twist my words, back the fuck up bros. I told a story about being a weird 7 year old. I bet you have some too, old men, that I’d rather not hear. And yes, this is a rage spiral. Sometimes I get so mad I burn right up. Also I wish my sister wasn’t laughing so hard.
So what does Grace herself think about this mess? She tweeted this about it:
As a queer person: i’m committed to people narrating their own experiences, determining for themselves what has and has not been harmful
Lena has canceled book tour dates in Belgium and Germany and it’s most likely because of this disaster.
From what I’ve read, I do think that Kevin D. Williamson dude nearly pulled his shoulder out of its socket by reaching so damn hard, but Lena did compare her actions to that of a pedo. So I’m not sure why she’s screaming about that. Crazy bitch, you brought that to the table.
This is when oversharing goes wrong and takes a huge chunk out of your right ass cheek. But chronic oversharing is also Lena’s thing and I’m still surprised that the cover of her book isn’t a picture of a naked her taking a shit on the toilet while eating a bean burrito. Oh god, that’s probably going to be the cover of the reissue of her book (if there is one).