Hot Slut Of The Day!

Grandpa Time, a time clock toy from when else, the 80s!

In honor of the day that we all get the hour back that was forcibly and wrongly stolen from us last spring, today’s HSOTD is a talking clock from the 80s that made bedtime fun and soothing for kids. I’ve asked several people who grew up in the 80s about this clock and they all look at me as though they’re North West and I’ve shown them a picture of Kanye West and asked them who that is. They don’t know who or what I’m talking about. But I remember Grandpa Time, because my childhood friend Krissy got one for Christmas in the 80s and it stayed in her bedroom up until high school times.

After Teddy Ruxpin came out in 1985 and ruled the toy game, other “talking” toys came out including Grandpa Time.  It’s hard getting brats to sleep and sometimes the easiest way to get a kid to sleep is to tie them to their bed Mommie Dearest-style. So Grandpa Time was supposed to make kids excited about mimi times. He’d tell kids when it was time to brush their teefs and put on their pajamas. When they got into bed, he’d read them a bedtime story in a soothing pepaw-like voice and he’d wake their asses up in the morning. Now that I think about it, Grandpa Time was kind of creepy.

There’s a few Grandpa Times on eBay and I’d get one, but now I’m kind of afraid of him. In the middle of the night, he’d probably whisper into my ear, “I like watching you sleep.”

With that being said, they should still bring Grandpa Time back and re-tool it as Abuelita Tiempo. Instead of reading you stupid bedtime stories, Abuelita Tiempo would turn on her novellas at full volume and expect you to sleep through that shit. She’d wake you up at least twice during the night by turning on every light in your room to pee and she’d wake you up in the morning by flinging a chancleta at your forehead. Every child really needs an Abuelita Tiempo.

Pic: eBay