If Micaela Schaefer is the German Queen of Slutoween, then Rihanna is the Alien Princess. Only RiRi could take a perfectly normal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume and turn it into a slutty Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume. Take that weapon, for example. To everyone else, it’s just a sai. But to RiRi, it’s a skinny stainless steel dick that is begging to be put in her mouth. Or maybe she’s doing a great job of staying in character; like the song says, Raphael is cool, but he’s also a little rude. And nothing says rude like pretending to give a sai a blowjob!
Rihanna and three of her friends decided to spend last night terrorizing the streets of NYC dressed as a drunk party girl’s version of the Ninja Turtles, and they all look like they’re having so much goddamn fun. It makes me wish Michael Bay could go back in time and re-cast that terrible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie with RiRi and her friends instead of those awful CGI melted candle nightmares, and re-write the story so that instead of being crime-fighting teenage mutants, the turtles are raunchy intergalactic weed-smoking good-time bad gals. Let’s be honest, that’s the better movie.
Here’s more of Princess Ooh-Na-Na and her friends tearing it up last night: