Pull on a pair of JUICY velour sweatpants, grab a fedora and your Britney Spears rhinestone bowtie necklace, because we’re about to go all the way back to the glory days of 2003 for this one! The Original Human Butt (sorry Kim) Jennifer Lopez confessed in an upcoming interview with Maria Shriver for TODAY (via Page Six) that despite having been married and divorced twice by the time she hooked up with The Human Chin Divot Ben Affleck, she considers the breakup of Bennifer to be the first time she ever truly did the slow wall slide of sadness into a pile of ice cream and sweatpants. Thankfully, her good friend Skeletor (government name: Marc Anthony) was there to offer her a bony shoulder to cry on:
“It was probably my first big heartbreak, and to have one of my best friends [Marc Anthony] who I’d known for years who I actually love and did have chemistry with come into my life and say, ‘I’m here.’ What you need to know is, nobody can save you or heal you. Only you can do that for you.”
I know we’re to believe that the day Ben Affleck angrily stormed out of the all-white mansion (everything was all-white in 2003) he shared with JLo as she ran after him screaming “MY LOVE DON’T COST A THING……thing…thing…thing…” was her first big heartbreak, but I don’t think that’s necessarily true. I would think that starring in a lukewarm turd like Gigli would be enough to crack your soul in half. Imagine screening that mess right before it was scheduled to be released, then realizing that you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake, then knowing that you’d have to spend the next 2 months of your life promoting that awful piece of crap? That breaks my heart just thinking about it!