Because It’s Not Technically Halloween Until Heidi Klum Dresses Up Like A Terrifying Giant Alien Butterfly…
Behold, the Almighty Queen of Halloween descending upon the masked and wigged masses to teach us fools how it’s done! Heidi Klum once again killed, buried, and held a solemn and dignified funeral for Halloween when she showed up to her annual Halloween party in New York City last night dressed as a butterfly on bath salts. That butterfly is everything. It’s like a David Cronenberg fever dream. It’s like BenDeLaCreme in bug drag after drinking the liquid inside a lava lamp and fucking a fabric store. It’s like a Lisa Frank fart. It’s the broken condom baby of The Tick and Liberace.
Heidi, who has been everything from a gem-encrusted Cleopatra to the future version of herself, explained to E! why she chose to dress up as the creature from Mariah Carey’s worst Ambien hallucination this year:
“Well someone very special to my heart called me a schmetterling [German word for butterfly], so I wanted to be a butterfly this year,” Klum told E! News, adding, “They’re just so pretty and colorful and I used to love painting butterflies.”
If she wanted to go as a butterfly so badly, she should have gone as a lower-back butterfly tattoo! I’m not complaining – that bug-eyed bitch looks FIERCE – but how awesome would it have been for her to show up wearing a giant ass costume with a full-sized butterfly painted just above the butt crack with the words “Just Breath” and the Chinese character for love on either side. NEXT YEAR, HEIDI.