Kelly Ripa And Michael Strahan Dressed Up As A Couple Of Brainless Zombies For Halloween

I love that Live! with Kelly & Michael always takes Halloween so seriously, like they’re competing in the Halloween Hunger Games or something. And they should! Halloween is the most important holiday of the year (a close second being National Shrimp Scampi Day). So while the goons over at TODAY are celebrating Halloween by serving up some lazy SNL cringe-worthy realness, (shout out to Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb as a wine-drunk menopausal Wayne and Garth), Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan were practically popping a hernia to change into 6,748 different costumes. They did Orange Is The New Black! They did Downton Abbey! They did NBC’s Peter Pan Live! They did The Walking Dead! Meanwhile, I’m sitting here wrapped in a blanket with my second plate of cheese trying to convince myself that I’m dressed like Liz Lemon.

But their scariest look was when they dressed up as the gruesome fame-whore twosome, Kim and Kanye Kardashian. Kelly does a pretty good job as Kim – so dead in the eyes! But Michael’s Kanye could use bigger tits, and also a bit more deluded egotism. Although I do love the little attention to details, like the fact that neither of them are holding North West. It’s perfect! My only question is, how did they manage to move Kelly’s bellybutton from her stomach to her ass?

Here’s more of Kelly and Michael slaying Halloween by dressing up as fucking EVERYONE on Live! with Kelly & Michael this morning. My personal favorite? Michael Gelman as Alex! His eyebrow game needs a little work, but that’s nothing a quick hit of Sharpie can’t fix.

Pics: Facebook

Amanda Bynes Is Out Of The Hospital After She Was Released From Psychiatric Hold (UPDATE)

It was reported a few days ago that Amanda Bynes’ doctors were able to get a judge to approve an extra 30-day psychiatric hold, which meant that she’d stay in the hospital until next month. Well, some hearing officer took that 5150 hold and shat all over it, because she’s out of the hospital and is back on Twitter.

TMZ says that Amanda got in front of a hearing officer at the psychiatric facility she was in and asked to be released back into the wild after being in there for 2 weeks. That hearing officer’s title should be changed to hard-of-hearing-seeing-and-thinking officer, because they granted Amanda’s wish and let her sashay out the exit door. TMZ’s source says that Amanda was “lucid” in front of the hearing officer and he felt she was stable enough to make her own decisions. He pissed on the 30-day hold and approved her release. Even though Amanda has been taking meds, her doctors believe that she’s still in a bad way and needs a lot more treatment before facing the outside world.

Amanda was released right away and roamed Sunset Blvd. for a bit before going to a diner where she ordered a bunch of food. The server said that she came alone and “mumbled” to herself. TMZ says that after she ate, Amanda tried to get a room, but several hotels turned her away. Who knows where she ended up.

Amanda’s mom was able to get another conservatorship and I don’t know if that means she can go to court and force her daughter back into the hospital. She might only be able to control Amanda’s finances. I don’t know. The only thing I know about the law I learned while watching Judge Judy and Judge Judy hasn’t covered this sort of thing. Now if this story was about one of Amanda’s friends asking her to co-sign on a loan, I’d say, “Judge Judy says not to do it, Amanda!”

She (or someone pretending to be her) has been tweeting and deleting tweets all morning long. She once again claims that her dad abused her and says her parents worked with Sam Lutfi to get their hands on her money. She’s planning to take her parents to court to get control of her money again. She also tweeted (and deleted) that Sam Lutfi is evil. Well, she’s not wrong about that.

UPDATE: Amanda’s lawyer went to court today to try to take control of her cash and fire her mom as her conservator. The judge denied her and her mom is still in charge of her money. Amanda didn’t show up to court, but her lawyer told the judge that he’s making sure she takes her meds. Yeah, I’m sure he’s making sure she takes her meds as he takes whatever money she has on her.

Chelsea Handler Is Pissed At Instagram After They Yanked Down A Picture Of Her Bare Titties

On Thursday night, everyone’s favorite drunk aunt Chelsea Handler decided to celebrate Halloween a day early by posting this terrifying picture of her recreating Vladimir Putin’s topless horsie ride by mounting a stallion with her vodka-filled titty bags out (sans Chunk’s disapproving face covering her nipple bits, of course) to Instagram with the caption:

“Anything a man can do, a woman has the right to do better #kremlin“

I guess Chelsea didn’t get the memo that Instagram is the internet’s uptight pearl-clutching titty-hating memaw, because E! says they took one look at her boobie buttons, screamed “SMUT ALERT!!!!“, and ripped it down. Since the only thing Chelsea loves more than chugging goon bags of angel tears (aka BOOZE) is whipping out her tits, she decided to take a swipe at Instagram’s prudish overlords by posting a screen grab of the no-titty notice they sent her when they threw her topless pony pic in the trash and hissing out the following:

“If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it’s ok, but not a woman? Are we in 1825?“

Cut to Scout Willis and Princess RiRi sending Chelsea a box of Empire cookies and a note that says “Welcome to the club! We meet every Wednesday at 7:30!”

Instagram be tripping, because the uncensored picture isn’t even that scandalous. But if you really want to see Chelsea’s majestic bare titties, they’re hidden after the cut:

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The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For October 30th!

Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for one day…

Give him a stash of sex sleeves and …you’ll never see or hear from him again…EVER – Aerialgreen

Upvote winner:

I haven’t seen this many phony cunts in one place since the last Real Housewives Reunion Special. – Official Gerard

Pic: Cheezburger

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Ben Cooper, Inc. – The masters of Halloween who ruled October 31st for decades!

For years and years and years, October 31st was practically National Ben Cooper Day, because trillions of children wore the company’s cheap, janky, ugly costumes. They didn’t cost much. You could buy one absolutely anywhere and they were easy to wear. Ben Cooper himself was a costume designer and in the 1930s he started his company when Halloween started to become a thing thing. Ben Cooper, Inc. bought licenses to produce costumes based on popular characters (Mickey Mouse, Snow White, etc…) and as the years went on, they continued to buy licenses and pretty much had a costume for hundreds of TV, movie and cartoon characters. Their presidential masks were apparently a huge seller, because nothing is scarier than that.

Ben Cooper continued to be the King of Halloween until the early 1980s when hysteria hit after people in the Chicago area began dying from taking cyanide-laced Tylenol.  An evil doer or evil doers added lethal doses of potassium cyanide to capsules of Extra-Strength Tylenol. People bought the Tylenol not knowing that shit was death pills. The entire country freaked out thinking that the deranged murderers were going to start poisoning everything including Halloween candy. Some towns banned trick or treating. So instead of taking their kids out to collect potential death candy from strangers, parents threw Halloween parties. Ben Cooper’s flimsy ass apron and mask costumes didn’t cut it at the Halloween party. Costumes became a little more elaborate.

Ben Cooper still kept on, kept on and continued to sell costume stuff through the 1980s, but in 1988 they declared bankruptcy and a year later their factory burned to the ground. They were eventually bought out in 1992.

The 60s, 70s and really early 80s were the time to be a parent on Halloween. You could spend a few dollars on a Ben Cooper costume and call it a day. Who cares if that costume was highly flammable and if your kid got near a candle they’d turn into a human torch. Who cares if that Ben Cooper mask made your kid look like a serial killer and distributor of nightmares. Who cares about any of that! You didn’t have to spend your nights making them some dumb stupid costume so they could win some dumb stupid prize at a dumb stupid costume contest.

I never had a Ben Cooper costume as a kid (I know, I should turn my mom into CPS for depriving me of a classic), but I may get one now. I’ve got my eye on that She-Ra one in the gallery. I’ll just wear it with sweats while I lounge around the house. Or if I’m ever in the mood to rob a bank, I’ll have the perfect mask for it.

Happy National Ben Cooper Day, everyone!

Pics: Google, DoG, eBay, Flickr

Birthday Sluts

Vanilla Ice (47)
Tinkerbell Hilton (12)
Willow Smith (14)
Vanessa Marano (22)
Justin Chatwin (32)
Samaire Armstrong (34)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (34)
Piper Perabo (38)
Linn Berggren of Ace of Base (44)
Irina Pantaeva (47)
Ad-Rock (48)
Annabella Lwin (48)
Dermot Mulroney (51)
Johnny Marr (51)
Rob Schneider (51)
Larry Mullen Jr. (53)
Peter Jackson (53)
Brian Stokes Mitchell (57)
Jane Pauley (64)
Deidre Hall (67)
Stephen Rea (68)
David Ogden Stiers (72)
Sally Kirkland (73)
Ron Rifkin (75)
Dan Rather (83)
Lee Grant (88)