Who Wore The Broken Purple Christmas Tree Ornament Better: RiRi’s Tits Or The Grey Floor?

October 30, 2014 / Posted by:

Isn’t the answer always “THE GREY FLOOR“?

Every amFAR event’s theme is supposed to be “Down With AIDS!“, but last night’s theme was obviously, “What’s AIDS? Look At My Tits!Miley Cyrus and RiRi obviously heard that memo loud and clear.

I guess Tom Ford has been trolling the “ratchet prom dress” tag on Tumblr, because that’s the only explanation for the clusterfuck of demure sophistication that RiRi had on her body last night. RiRi showed up to the amfAR LA Inspiration Gala Honoring Tom Ford in L.A. last night wearing some messiness Tom Ford designed and the only thing missing is Diana Ross’ hand under her right tit. That dress looks duct tape, an old bed sheet, two Christmas bows and a sheer nursing bra having an awkward orgy and none of them are even close to cumming. An ear-killing, nasally “SHIT!” was heard all through Calabasas today, because Kim Kartrashian will have to find another ensemble to wear to North West’s khristening ceremony.

RiRi’s look is like this season of American Horror Story. It doesn’t make sense and nothing flows together, but yet I can’t stop looking at it. RiRi looks like a rejected Twi’lek dancer who had to make ends meet by selling ass to aliens on the 16th planet of Tau Ceti, but I’m still into it as fugly and busted as it is. Blame it on her nipples looking like they’re barfing up heavy loads of extra chunky sparkles. That’s what unicorn herpes looks like and it’s stunning.

Pics: Wenn.com

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