Besides Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar who were extremely hot as Sugar and Spice, Batman Forever was a neon turd and apparently it was a huge, messy shit show behind-the-scenes too. Ever since that mess came out, there’s been rumors that there was a lot of fighting going on during filming and that Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones got along as well as two Rockaway black bears. Jim Carrey was on Howard Stern (via UsWeekly) yesterday to promote Dumb and Dumber To and the rumors about him scrappin’ with TLJ on the set of Batman Forever came up. Jim Carrey said that yeah, the rumors are true, and then he told a story that should make all of us wish we will get into a fight with TLJ just once. Because he will spew out some poetic hate that will make your soul blossom.
Jim says that he was really excited about working with TLJ, but the feeling was the opposite of mutual. Jim thinks that TLJ had a little case of the cunts, because they both had movies come out on the same weekend. Jim had Dumb and Dumber which made 7 trillion dollars and TLJ had Cobb which made 7 dollars (and I’m being generous).
“I think what happened was, I was really looking forward to working with Tommy because he’s a fantastic actor and he still is to me, I mean he’s amazing, but he was a little crusty, he was a little crusty.
Sometimes that Rhodes Scholarship is more of a weapon than an asset. I think he was just a little freaked out because Dumb and Dumber came out on the same weekend as Cobb, and Cobb was his big swing for the fences and that didn’t work out and that freaked him out a bit I think.”
Any feelings that Jim had about TLJ hating him like a hemorrhoid were confirmed the night before they shot a big scene. Jim went to a restaurant to have dinner and when the maitre’d told him that TLJ was also there, he went up to say hello and hilarious cantankerousness ensued:
“I went up to say hi and the blood drained from his face, in such a way that I realized that I had become the face of his pain or something. He got up, kind of shaking, and hugged me and said ‘I hate you. I really don’t like you.’ I was like ‘Wow, okay. Well, what’s going on man?’ And he said, ‘I cannot sanction your buffoonery.’ He did not want to work with me at that point.”
How did Jim Carrey not fall out of his asshole right then and there? Because Tommy Lee Jones holding you close while whispering, “I hate you. I cannot sanction your buffoonery,” into your ear is almost as good as Jessica Lange treating you like the background at a TV show premiere. I can picture it. TLJ grabs onto you and as he gets close to your face, you light up inside thinking he’s going to tell you something sweet, but instead he verbally shivs you in the ear hole with a beautiful crotchety line that will become your next email signature. SWOON.
Tommy Lee Jones isn’t the human Grumpy Cat…
Grumpy Cat is the pussy Tommy Lee Jones.