Since there’s not a law in Nevada that states that you must be able to spell gun in order to buy a gun, Jose Canseco owns guns. Jose’s actress/model girlfriend Leila Knight tells the NYDN that while cleaning one of his four guns at the kitchen table in his Las Vegas house yesterday, the gun somehow went off and a bullet nearly took off his left hand’s middle finger. Leila says that the oaf with steroids-infused tissue mush for brains didn’t know the gun was loaded. Yes, any person with at least one working brain cell would disassemble the gun before cleaning it, but this is Jose Canseco we’re talking about. As a sly smile made an appearance on Darwin’s face in heaven, Leila Knight told the NYDN about Jose Canseco’s latest act of pure dumb fuckery:
“He had been at the shooting range a few days earlier. He didn’t know it was loaded. The middle finger was hanging by a thread, and I wrapped his hand in a towel and then called 911. The doctors said they would either have to amputate or do reconstructive surgery. But if they do surgery, he won’t be able to use it again. He blew away an artery and a big bone chunk.”
Leila took out a restraining order against Jose in 2011 after she says he harassed her on and off Twitter, so yesterday the cops asked her if the two of them had been fighting. Leila says that he wasn’t trying to shoot her or anything. He’s just dumber than a popped steroid pimple:
“At first the police asked me if we were in a fight. I said of course we weren’t. We have four guns in the house. We are now going to have zero. I hate guns. Jose is a little freaked out. He keeps saying, ‘Sorry, sorry.’ But we’re extremely lucky, lucky it wasn’t worse, or that he didn’t shoot me.”
Poor Jose. If doctors can’t re-attach his finger, he’ll only be able to count to 9 if he’s fully clothed, 19 if he’s not wearing shoes and 19 and a half if he’s naked. I don’t know much about guns, but I didn’t know that they can accidentally just go off like that. That gun delivered the ultimate “fuck you” to Jose by taking away his left hand’s ability to throw a “fuck you” at a trick.