I know that a picture of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis sitting behind a Burger King sign at a basketball game has nothing to do with Baby Wyatt and her non-existent nannies, but I just figured it’s Hump Day, and who wouldn’t want to celebrate by thinking about delicious flame-broiled Whoppers? Yarm.
Ashton was on Conan O’Brien Tuesday night, and after throwing some Charles Schulz-y shade at Charlie Sheen, he decided to talk about his new baby Ashton confessed that even though he’s an insanely rich famous dude who is rich enough to hire someone to get elbow-deep in baby caca and projectile milk-barfed on at 3am, he hasn’t hired a nanny for Baby Wyatt. Why? Because he’s an insanely rich famous dude.
“We’re really privileged that we have time and can afford to take time. So we don’t have a nanny or a night nurse of any of the stuff. It’s just the two of us.”
Ashton and Mila are lucky, because they never have to worry about being too exhausted to take care of the baby. All they have to do is throw on an episode of That 70s Show and a pair of those glasses that make you look like you’re awake, and Baby Wyatt won’t even notice the difference. Sure, she might get confused later in life when people refer to her parents as “Mila and Ashton” instead of “Jackie and Kelso”, but that’s nothing a little therapy can’t fix. And for those of you wondering how they got the name “Wyatt”, Ashton explains:
“We were going to a Lakers game and I got name Tourette’s and I just started listing off anything and everything that I saw: ‘Sign! Truck! Wall! Door!’ She [was] like, ‘Shut up!’ Then I was like, ‘I’ve got a really dumb idea. What about Wyatt?’ She goes, ‘That’s it.'”
I’m sorry, but how do you go from names like sign, truck, wall, door to Wyatt? Maybe Ashton pulled up to an intersection and saw a dude dressed like a cellphone spinning a sign that said “ASK ME WHY AT&T WANTS YOU TO SWITCH TODAY!“. Wyatt works, but did he ever consider Cellphondrea (pronounce cell-PHON-drea, obviously)? Come on, Cellphondria is a hot name!