All weekend long, TMZ burped up receipt after receipt after receipt that continued to bury the caca river of denials that Mama June shat up after it was reported that she’s been seeing a convicted pedophile who molested her eldest daughter, Anna “Chickadee” Cardwell, ten years ago. TMZ spit up pictures of Mama June shopping for a place she and her registered sex offender boyfriend Mark McDaniel can play house in and pictures of her allegedly buying a Nissan for the trash who abused her daughter. The rotten, corroded shit cherry on top of the barf berry cake is a picture of June’s Pedobear boyfriend hanging out with Honey Boo Boo. Meanwhile in the Ninth Circle, Lucifer’s minions are busy engraving Mama June’s name on the door that leads to Hell’s special place.
When Mama June and Sugar Bear announced a month ago that they were over, the break-up was blamed on him looking for ass on a dating site. But this morning TMZ said that Sugar Bear has always been Mama June’s filler piece and when Pedobear got out of prison in March, she immediately started seeing that gross smegma dingle (no offense to smegma dingles). TMZ’s source says that Mama June was over Sugar Bear long before he joined an online dating site and she only used that shit to break up with him so she could be with her daughter’s abuser. Sugar Bear and Mama June apparently fought about Mark McDaniel for years, because she kept a box with pictures of him in it and Sugar Bear felt like she was emotionally attached to him. There’s not enough SheDontLoveHerself.jpgs in the entire world wide fucking web for me to properly respond to this.
Some of my friends have joked that they should stop trying and join a convent since they can’t get a man yet Mama June has no trouble getting one. Um, yeah, nobody should feel that way anymore. Because the dog I once watched hump a plastic bag full of trash on the sidewalk in Brooklyn has better taste in sex partners than Mama June does.
The question that everyone’s been asking, besides “How long do I have to hold my head in a bowl of bleach to rid this story from my brain?”, has been, “CPS, where art thou?”I mean, CPS has to be involved now that there’s picture proof that Mama June is letting a registered sex offender hang out with her 9-year-old daughter, right? A spokesperson for child services in Georgia wouldn’t tell People if they’re investigating this bad situation, but it sounds like they’re investigating this bad situation.
“Generally speaking, when we receive a report that children are living around a sex offender … it would certainly rise to the level of concern of us looking into it. From our point of view, when there are young children who are not able to protect themselves that are in daily contact or living with a sex offender, someone would go out and assess the situation and decide whether the children can stay there or not. If we thought a child was in harm’s way in any way, shape or form, we would develop a safety plan and make sure the children are not around an offender.”
Sugar Bear, who is Honey Boo Boo’s dad, hasn’t said anything about this disaster yet and Uncle Poodle said on Facebook that he’s staying out of it.
It just keeps getting worse and worse and I really hope that right now Glitzy is at his attorney’s office because he’s going to file for legal custody of Honey Boo Boo and her sisters. I also need to stop using everyone’s government names when writing about this mess, because thanks to nicknames like Sugar Bear, Chickadee and Honey Boo Boo, it sounds like something straight out of the worst Berenstain Bears story ever.