Just one day after TMZ puked up a two-week-old picture of Mama June cuddling up next to the ex-piece who just finished serving 10 years in the chokey for molesting one of her 8-year-old relatives, TLC derailed the sketti sauce train and cut their losses while watching it crash and burn. The makers of diabetes meds are in the fetal position under their desks this morning, because the show they counted on to push more product is done. A entire season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was shot, but TLC is not airing it and has canceled the show over the allegations that Mama June is dating a convicted child molester. TLC executives fed cheese balls and sketti sauce to a bull and waited around until it shit up this pile of bullshit:
“Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority. TLC is faithfully committed to the children’s ongoing comfort and well-being.”
That whole statement should’ve auto-corrected to “BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BLAH BLAH.” Whoever wrote that piece of comedy gold probably had to churn it out fast, because they had to get working on writing a press release for Honey Boo Boo’s replacement show titled I’m A 12-Year-Old Ex-Child Beauty Pageant Queen On Meth And I’m Pregnant With Quadruplets. TMZ says that TLC is also paying for counselors and tutors for Honey Boo Boo and the rest of Mama June’s spawn.
Mama June keeps denying that she’s rubbing her chin cheese on her convicted sex offender ex-boyfriend. In a Facebook video that looks like something out of the Blair Witch Project if the Blair Witch Project was shot in a Super Walmart, Mama June confirms that TLC dumped them and claims that she broke up with the child touching monster as soon as she found out that he molested her relative and she hasn’t seen him since. She also wrote this statement on FB:
I want to make a post trying to clear up the rumors remember you can’t believe everything you read! Ppl sell stories to the tabloid everyday that r false! It isnt true i promise my kids r #1 priority over anything else and I would never put them in danger period over this or anything else they r my life this is my past I left him 10 yrs ago for it and I wouldn’t go back
Pumpkin told Radar yesterday that the picture is obviously Photoshopped.
Mama June, don’t serve me Prego and call it sketti sauce. If that picture was ‘Shopped, then Beyonce’s Photoshop artistes must’ve done it, because it’s a good job and looks 100% authentic. And Here Comes Honey Boo Boo still makes money for TLC, so I’m not sure if they would cancel their cash maker unless they were convinced that Mama June did some wrong shit that could damage their pristine reputation as an educator who solely cares about the welfare of children.
I don’t know if this was totally the right move on TLC’s part. I mean, doesn’t Honey Boo Boo need cameras documenting her every move now more than ever? They should re-tool the show and call it Here Comes CPS. Or send all the girls to live with Uncle Poodle and have them star in a spin-off called Uncle Poodle Saves The Day.
And Pimp Mama Kris is probably like, “Ugh, no self-respecting pimp would ever do some dumb shit that’d screw with her money. You’re supposed to exploit your kids, but not like that. You disgust me, June!“