Kim Kartrashian was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and decades later that silver spoon was replaced with Ray-J’s boomerang peen, which made her family of fame whores even richer and worldwide famous. But the human fart bubble of potent delusion tells the London Evening Standard’s ES Magazine that her parents didn’t hand her anything (except for keys to the luxury car they bought her, cell phones, credit cards with no limits and the contract with Lucifer that PMK made her sign) and she had to work for all the luxuries she has and she expects North West to do the same thing. “The hell do you call this, heffa? A hobby?” is what North West is thinking to herself as wardrobe stylists dress her in a suede onesie, Converse kitten heels and a zebra skin bolero to shoot scenes for Krapping Up the Kartrashians.
I remember (yes, this is the kind of shit my brain chooses to remember) reading about how Kim made her dad buy her a bunch of designer shit and she’d sell it on eBay at a profit. She also got paid to organize Wonky McValtrex’s closet or something. But before she was an eBay entrepooneur and Wonky McValtrex’s bitch, she worked at a clothing store and it took her an entire year to save up enough money to buy $400 Prada shoes. How did she get through it?! How did she survive?!
“I saved up for this Dolce & Gabbana dress I really wanted, or like in high school these Prada shoes that my parents wouldn’t buy me. And I remember they were $400, and I had to save for the entire year to get them … We didn’t get anything [from her parents], we had to get a job if we wanted it. So I was working in a clothing store and I would save and save.”
That quote reminds me of that scene in The Color Purple where Miss Sofia shouted, “All my life I had to FIGHT for these $400 Prada shoes!”
Because Kim’s dad taught her how to “work” for things she wants, she expects her daughter to do the same. Self-awareness really is one of Kim’s greatest arch rivals.
“I was saying that earlier to my friends, ‘I wonder what [North’s] first job is gonna be’. And they were like, ‘What? She’s gonna have a job?’ and I was like, ‘Are you kidding me? Of course she is’. She will have to work for what she wants.”
What a selfish bitch mom, really. Kim knows how hard she had to fight, struggle and endure major hardships to get where she is today. Kim had to lie on her fake ass in a sex tape, say scripted words in front of a camera, wear clothes and stumble into the bank every week carrying the giant sack of money she got for just existing. Kim has “worked” so hard and I’m surprised she hasn’t melted into a plastic puddle of exhaustion. And she wants her daughter to go through the same struggles? Heartless! Ha, I say that like we didn’t already know that.
Yes, North West already has a job as Kim and Kanye’s fashion accessory, but I doubt she gets paid. So she’ll have to get a secret second job to get what she really wants and yes what she really wants is money to pay an emancipation lawyer. So if you see baby leather leggings on eBay listed under the name “IgnoriSOS,” help a girl out and bid up, bid up.
And in case you missed it, here’s an old video of an annoying 13-year-old Kim before her soul was sold to Satan and her face transformed into that of a melted Thundercats action figure.