Open Post: Hosted By The Sexy Cook Of Chili’s

October 20, 2014 / Posted by:

Behold, the glorious portrait that needs to be Florida’s new state flag. And if Butterfly by Crazy Town was a human, that’s what it would look like.

The tattooed hunk of hotness in the picture above and below used to be a cook at a Chili’s in Valrico, FL, but was fired for bringing thirty servings of hot, greasy sex to the kitchen. Justin Speekz (who sometimes raps in the Tampa area as J-Speekz, because of course he does) decided that what the eyes of the world really need is some fap material in the form of pictures of him sprawled out shirtless on a prep table at Chili’s. Now you know that Chili’s dipping sauces get their saltiness from armpit drool. J-Speekz took picture after picture of him throwing, “You know you want to dip this jumbo soft pretzel in your skillet queso,” looks while posing shirtless all around the kitchen of the Chili’s he used to work at. He posted the pictures on Facebook, labeled them “Sexy Cooks of Chili’s” and even tagged the location he worked in. Well, you can’t expect J-Speekz to have charisma, sex appeal AND brains.

Eventually, customers of the Chili’s in Valrico found the pictures on Facebook and I guess they don’t like a little AXE-scented pit hair on their burgers, because they complained to management. J-Speekz was fired and now “Sexy Cooks of Chili’s” is the fap-inducing calendar that never was. ABC Action News says that no health codes were broken since the pictures weren’t taken while J-Speekz was making food. But Chili’s still pink slipped him and they released this statement about it:

“Chili’s clearly does not encourage this type of behavior in our restaurants. We maintain very high standards of food quality, safety and cleanliness and took immediate steps to ensure the restaurant continues to follow these requirements. Additionally, we ended this team member’s employment after learning of his conduct.”

We maintain very high standards of food quality.” Who ever wrote that mess has obviously never eaten at Chili’s.

Whatever. J-Speekz, who probably tells people that he’s the real inspiration for James Franco’s Spring Breakers character, doesn’t need Chili’s anyway. Chili’s will be sorry when J-Speekz next song about this shit titled “2 Sex-E 4 Chiliz” comes out and becomes the #1 most played song in the world the country Florida Tampa his own iTunes playlist.

opsexycookofchilis2

And if he still worked at Chili’s, I would. I totally would, because afterward we could eat the baby back ribs he brought home from work.

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