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October 20, 2014 / Posted by:

Snapple’s Tru Root Beer!

In the 90s, Snapple ruled the world and most of the population pissed, shit, jizzed and sneezed the stuff up, because practically everyone guzzled it up like it was tap water. My mom worked in a hospital and sometimes I’d volunteer in the office of her department (sadly, I didn’t get to wear a candy stripe outfit). My job was to give patients pamphlets with info on how to prepare for their procedure (don’t drink water, don’t eat food, get your will together, say goodbye to your loved ones, curse your enemies out one last time, etc…) and this one time, I told this chick she couldn’t eat or drink water after midnight. Her only question was, “But what about Snapple?” She was serious. Snapple was her oxygen!

So because Snapple was as important as air, they tried to come for the soda game and they released a bunch of “all-natural” Snapple sodas including Tru Root Beer. Tru Root Beer was supposed to be less sweeter than other root beers and that shit was clear. Since Snapple sodas lacked a key ingredient others soda had (read: CRACK), they never became a thing and they were discontinued sometime in the late 90s. But some SnappleSodaheads are still strung out for their sweet nectar of choice and wake up in the middle of the night screaming its name.

I’m not sure why Snapple dropped the “e” from “true.” Was it because of 90s styling or could they legally not use the full word “true” since their root beer truly wasn’t root beer because it was fucking clear. But that’s what I liked most about Snapple’s Tru Root Beer. It asked one of the most important questions of the 90s: Can root beer-flavored water be trusted?

Pic: The Frisky 

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