It’s been so calm and so peaceful without the sound of Halle Berry shrieking the skin off of her tonsils as Olivier Martinez growls while punching the pretty out of Gabriel Aubry’s face. I was beginning to think that maybe a judge ordered all of them to take their meds or cool their throbbing assholes of rage by having a seat in a bowl of ice. But it’s been quiet because Halle has been re-charging her crazy and now she’s ready to go for round I Lost Count. The sound of the birds chirping and the wind blowing will once again be drowned out by the sound of Halle and Gabriel gnawing at each other’s throats while fighting over her money.
Four months ago, Gabriel Aubry got one step closer to earning a star on the #GetMoneyBitch Hall of Fame when a judge declared that Halle must pay him $16,000 a month in child support. The judge based that amount on how much cash Halle brings in every month and lawyers for the Zoolander KFed argued that when Nahla is with him, she should live in the same opulent, luxurious lifestyle she lives in when she’s with Halle. After months of writing a $16,000 check to that Lazy No Good Gold Digging Son Of A Bitch Cunt Leech (yes, that’s what she writes in the “Pay To The Order Of” part of the check), Halle is sick of writing a $16,000 check. Halle wants a judge to lower that amount all the way.
TMZ says that Halle’s lawyers filed papers asking a judge to cut that $16,000 a month down to ONLY $3,000 a month.
Halle says that Gabriel, who used to model, is no longer working and because of the pile of cash she shoves in his checking account every month, he does nothing but sit around and look pretty all day. Halle is now gold digger enemy #2 (behind a prenup, of course), because she thinks that Gabriel can get a job and make his own money. The gold digger-hater believes that if Gabriel got a job, he’d only need $3,000 a month from her to keep their daughter comfortable.
Halle and Gabriel have joint custody. Nahla splits her time equally between Halle’s house and Gabriel’s house.
$16,000 a month ain’t shit to Halle and she’s probably paying her lawyers more to fight this shit. Halle should just get Olivier to punch Gabriel in the face again. It will sting less. $3,000 is like 3 visits to Whole Foods. I mean, if Gabriel’s child support gets cut to only $3,000 a month, he’ll have to switch out his $500-a-jar French night cream for some crap from Kiehl’s! He’ll be laughed out of the Barney’s beauty department. Halle is obviously trying to hit Gabriel where it hurts the most: his pretty. Halle is not thinking of her child either. If Gabriel is forced to downgrade his beauty regimen, he’ll probably break out. Does Halle really want Nahla to be picked up from school by a pretty father with blotchy skin? That heartless bitch.
Here’s Halle and Nahla leaving Crate and Barrel (aka a store Gabriel won’t be able to shop at if Halle gets her way) in L.A. last month.