Open Post: Hosted By The Porn Iguana’s Puppies

October 15, 2014 / Posted by:

A pro-tip for the Porn Iguana: Never pose next to a bitch who is prettier, more glamorous and has better hair than you. Well, but the Porn Iguana’s ironed plastic straw weave still looks better than Beyonce’s wig, so at least she’s got that.

Last night, Courtney Stodden shoved her Tupperware cake saver tits into a clearance section Frederick’s of Hollywood dress and sprayed her face with a makeup gun set to “day-shift Elvira hooker glamour” before going to the Art Hearts fashion show in Hollywood with her Lynne Spears-looking ass pimp mom and her dog/fashion accessory Cupcake Stodden.

Cupcake looks like this crackhead in Brooklyn who once said to me, “Take that ‘sorry’ and shove it up your ass!  I’m sure you’ll like it,” when he asked me for a dollar and I told him sorry. Cupcake might have those crackhead eyes because of the camera flashes or maybe she got high from the toxic, lead-based fumes wafting off of Courtney’s face. Or maybe Cupcake’s in a state of permanent shock, because she’s seen the real-life Twisty the Clown known as Doug Hutchison mouth fuck with Courtney Stodden and that image is forever burned into her tiny puppy retinas. Yeah, that’s why.

Pics: Wenn.com

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