FYI: Brad Pitt Has Owned A Gun Since Kindergarten
(“Michael, did you accidentally mix battery acid into your cup of Sanka this morning, because that’s the only explanation for why you posted a picture of a Johnny Hallyday wax statue in a post about Brad Pitt.” – you)
Brad Pitt lives in mansion where red laser beams protect the halls, an army of security guards patrol every corner and ninjas trained by Child Army Captain Maddox cling to the ceiling, but he says that he doesn’t feel one hundred percent safe unless he’s got a gun in the house. Brad is promoting that army movie Fury in the UK and during an interview with Britain’s Radio Times (via The Independent) the topic of guns came up and he said that he grew up with guns, he got his first gun at the age of 6, he fired his first handgun at 8 and you’ll have to rip his gun out of his cold, stoned hand. Actually, that wouldn’t be hard. If you want Brad to drop his gun. Just wave a joint at him. Brad put it like this:
“There’s a rite of passage where I grew up of inheriting your ancestors’ weapons. My brother got my dad’s. I got my grandfather’s shotgun when I was kindergarten. The positive is that my father instilled in me a profound and deep respect for the weapon.”
The NYDN also brought out a quote Brad Pitt spit out a while ago about how he just feels better knowing that he’s got a gun nearby: “I don’t feel the house is completely safe if I don’t have one hidden somewhere. That’s my thinking, right or wrong.”
I know hos who feel the same way Brad does and I know hos who feel the opposite way. As my ass gets older and I start to watch way too much 48 Hours and THE NEWS!!!!, I get more and more paranoid. So I keep pepper spray next to my bed, which is genius if you think about. If somebody ever does break in, the darkness mixed with confusion will cause me to pepper spray myself in the face. I should just keep an iPod loaded with a Justin Bieber song next to me. That’s the deadliest weapon of all.
If I was Brad Pitt, I’d probably feel pretty safe without a gun too, because if anybody breaks in they’ll have to deal with a team of security guards, the child army and Dame St. Angie Jolie who will hypnotize the intruder with her ethereal graciousness and touch their chest, turning their criminal heart into a good heart.
Here’s Brad looking like a hobo Weekend at Bernie’s at the premiere Fury in NYC last night.
