Zac Efron Got A New Piece

October 14, 2014 / Posted by:

Zac Efron’s chafed taint is still sore from viciously scissoring with Michelle Rodriguez on a yacht in Italy, but he’s not letting that stop him from getting on a new piece.

At the Dodgers game last month, a bleary-eyed and slightly bloat face’d (Side note: Basically he looked like me the day after Dunkin’ Donuts opened in L.A.) Zac Efron was papped with a mysterious woman (Other side note: “Mysterious woman” is a nice way of saying “non-famous regular“). That same chick was papped again on Sunday when she and Pretty Pretty Princess Zac arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark after flying in from L.A. People ID’d Zac’s new piece as Sami Miró and her LinkedIn profile says that she speaks French, graduated from business school and used to work in business development for a media company. She has yet to update her profile so that it reads: “Current – Zac Efron’s Full-Time Lip Gloss Holder.

If Sami Miró’s name sounds familiar to you, that’s because just like every other person on the planet she’s e-mailed you at least 20 times to let you know that she’s awaiting your response to her LinkedIn invitation. I’m surprised she has time to go to Denmark with Zac. Shouldn’t she be patiently awaiting your response to her kind invitation?

But seriously, these pictures of Zac with his new piece have me a little concerned. When Zac is driving and he spots a rogue brow hair on his face while looking in the rearview mirror, he immediately pulls the emergency brake, punches the hazard lights button and refuses to drive any further until he’s plucked that bitch out. Zac stops everything when he’s not easy, breezy, beautiful perfect. So it’s suspect to me that he has been papped twice with a piece whose current hair situation looks like that. How is it possible that Zac hasn’t run his ass off to Ulta Beauty to buy a box of beard dye that’d erase that tragic yellow color from Sami’s hair? Why hasn’t he done this? Who are you, Zac? Who are you?

Pics: Splash

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