When we last left Amanda Bynes, she was engaged to a 19-year-old bait shop boy, pulling Winona Ryder shit at Barney’s and telling the tabloids that she’s got a microchip in her head, and since then things have gone from really bad to Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Zeus, Arceus, Eru Ilúvatar, Shauna Sand and every other God take the wheel now.
This morning, Stephen Collins let out a “pheeeew” when Amanda Bynes accused her father of abusing her in all kinds of ways. Amanda also accused her mother of knowing about it and not doing anything about it. In a stream of tweets, Amanda said that her dad called her ugly, asked her if she wanted to have sex with him and touched himself in front of her. Amanda tweeted that she was working with her lawyers to get a restraining order against him. Amanda’s mom, Lynne Bynes, answered to Amanda’s dark-sided accusations in a statement to E!:
“I am heartbroken today for my husband of 47 years. Rick has been the best father and husband a family can ask for. He has never abused Amanda or our other children physically or sexually. These accusations are absolutely horrible and could not be further from the truth! These allegations stem from Amanda’s mental state at the moment. They have no basis in reality. It saddens me beyond belief that my husband’s character could be slandered in such a way.”
A quick second after Lynne Bynes’ statement came out, Amanda took it all back with this tweet:
TMZ says that Amanda’s tweets might’ve been triggered by her dad and mom’s plan to go to NYC to convince their daughter to get help. Lynne and Rick Bynes picked out a mental facility and booked a room. They just had to get Amanda to agree, but obviously that shit didn’t go too well. After finding out that her parents were on their way to NYC to help her, she immediately took her ass to LaGuardia Airport to get out of there. Amanda was allegedly kicked out of LaGuardia for screaming at a ticket agent because she was mad that a flight wasn’t leaving soon enough. Amanda was supposedly on her way to JFK, but her parents have no idea where she is right now.
And this is everyone’s cue to pick up our baby kitten and do the That’s Enough Internet For Today strut right out the exit door.