Well, here’s some news that will make you want to fly to New York City, track down Amanda Bynes like a low-budget Dog the Bounty Hunter (wait, isn’t Dog the Bounty Hunter the low-budget version of Dog the Bounty Hunter?), wrap her in a soft quilt and sing the Rihanna part of “Take Care“. TMZ says that on Monday night, Amanda Bynes was partying by herself at a club in Chelsea when she was approached by a couple fans on the dance floor who wanted to take her picture. Amanda responded by yelling for them to leave her alone, and to be honest, I’d do the same. Imagine trying to get your groove on and some wanker comes at you with a camera? You’d be like “Jog off, asshole.”
But here’s where it gets ruh roh-y. One fan didn’t take the hint that Amanda didn’t want any of her Sears Portrait Studio bullshit, and kept trying to take her picture. That’s when Amanda allegedly spun around towards the woman and took several swipes, clawing her neck and arms. The woman says she doesn’t plan on pressing charges, because she’s a fan (apparently Penelope Taynt lives in NYC and hangs out at Chelsea clubs now).
Oh dear, where to start. All of this is such a shit sandwich. It’s shitty to take pictures inside a dark club, unless you use the flash, which is super shitty. It’s shitty to try to take a picture of a stranger while they’re dancing. It’s shitty to claw the fuck out of someone’s arms. And it’s extra shitty that it’s 2014 and I have to write about Amanda going off the rails again. It’s all so shitty! Jesus take the shitty wheel!
The only thing that isn’t shitty are these pictures of Amanda strolling through NYC with a couple friends on Monday. Amanda is working a tight fanny pack game. And I wonder if one of the young gentlemen escorting Amanda is her beau, Bait Shop Caleb? Maybe the one on the left who looks like the busted condom baby of Jerry Seinfeld and Frankie Grande?