Agent Dale Cooper and I have the exact same bewildered look on our faces; surely this is all just a backwards-talking dream and Twin Peaks isn’t actually coming back to television. That would never happen! I bet The Man from Another Place and that shady bitch the Log Lady are behind this fuckery.
But no, this isn’t a dream! Earlier today, Twin Peaks creators David Lynch and Mark Frost confirmed on Twitter that Twin Peaks, the batshit crazy pie-flavored fever dream that aired for two seasons on ABC from 1990 to 1991, is coming back! THIS IS DAMN FINE NEWS! According to Deadline, Showtime will air a third nine-episode season of Twin Peaks sometime in 2016, 25 years after it first premiered. The third season will be written and produced by Lynch and Frost, and all nine episodes will be directed by David Lynch. And there’s also a rumor that ageless super-hottie Kyle MacLachlan will return as FBI agent Dale Cooper. Excuse me while I find an all-red room and do the reverse wall-slide of joy.
The New Twin Peaks (I hope they keep that name) will be set in present-day and will sort of pick up where the last one left off, aka INSANE TOWN. Lynch and Frost hope to wrap up any loose ends that were left at the end of the second season and the film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. But I don’t really care what they do! They can spend all nine episodes having Dale Cooper teach the teenage ghost of Laura Palmer how to drive or dedicate a whole episode to Nadine Hurley buying a new eye-patch. All that matters is that they find a way to bring back the true star of Twin Peaks, Lara Flynn Boyle! Twin Peaks is nothing without that exquisite collagen-plumped peony blossom!