Hold on – why is there blonde hair behind Oprah’s back??? Is someone hiding behind her? Oh wait, it’s probably just White Oprah mining her pockets for cash while her daughter distracts her. “I already told you, if you need some more wine-money, just ask me for a second season of Lindsay!” – Oprah.
Speaking of a second season Lindsay, the biggest little train-wreck on television this side of a True Tori marathon, Lindsay Lohan believes there will be a second season. Oprah flew to London to watch the Apricot Ashtray’s performance Speed-The-Plow on Saturday, and Lindsay made sure to Instagram a picture of it as proof (apparently Lupita Nyong’o was there as well, but did take a picture with Linds, probably because she’s still recovering from the last time she met a crazy-eyed red-haired smoky-voiced attention-starved creature).
But maybe Oprah wasn’t there just to watch Lindsay maybe fuck up her lines or break the fourth wall and ask the audience if she could borrow $300. Lindsay recently told Marie Claire UK (via Celebitchy) that she and Oprah are BFBFs (best friends in bankrolled fuckery) once again and that they begin filming on the second season of Lindsay in January. Oh, and also that they might be going to Africa together.
“Oprah is building more schools in Africa, so I think that’s where I’ll be going after the play. We take a lot for granted and it’s good to step outside yourself sometimes and look at what you have and go, ‘Wow my life’s pretty good.’ You go and see these children who have no idea what’s going on in the world and they’re suffering and it’s those moments that change you and wake you up.”
Cut to the children of Africa looking at Lindsay and thinking “Wait, that woman is only 28-years-old?? Wow my life’s pretty good.”
Of course, Oprah hasn’t confirmed any of this, so all this second season Africa talk could be nothing more than the delusional rantings of a freckled lie-telling mess. But in the event it’s true, and Lindsay Instagramming a picture of someone besides herself is a sign of a future collaboration, then I hope this means we’re about to get more day-drunk Cool Mom in our lives!
So that WAS White Oprah slinking behind Original Recipe Oprah! I can spot that shady butter-yellow polyester mop from a mile away. White Oprah also came to see Lindsay on the London stage, and by the sound of how she captioned this picture, Linds is already “that person”:
“My beautiful mum supporting me! What a blessed life I’ve found.“
“Oi! It’s me mum, all the way from the colonies! Wot say you mum? Fancy a plonk or two at the pub?” All jokes aside, it’s just really nice to see White Oprah make an appearance. A day without White Oprah’s glassy-eyed stare is like a day without sunshine.
And here’s the Apricot Ashtray after Saturday’s performance of Speed-The-Plow holding a purse she no doubt “found” during intermission and signing autographs with White Oprah trailing behind. Hmm…so there’s a possibility that Lindsay might get another round of those sweet OWN checks, and all of a sudden White Oprah is trailing her like a shark? I see you White Oprah.