In the 80s (Note: Did I even need to write “In the 80s” since it’s obvious that toys that look like that and are called “The Infaceables” could only have been burped up by the 80s), there was a line of action figures called The Infaceables and they lasted about as long as the time I completely lost whatever was left of my mind and tried to do the Master Cleanse. They lasted around 45 minutes.
The Infaceables (Mystic Warriors of Change!) started out with what was supposed to be human faces and when you pulled their upper body away from their legs (basically when you jacked off their body), a state-of-the-art vacuum technology kicked in and magically transformed their faces from man to beast. The state-of-the-art vacuum technology wasn’t really that impressive. The “man” face was made of a thin rubber and when you jacked off his body, it sucked to his hard plastic face revealing his beastliness. I think I just described what happens when Mickey Rourke cums.
Here’s The Infaceable known as Iron Lion before (giving you Bruce Jenner with Sharpie brows, a Sharpie goatee and Sally’s Beauty Supply colored contacts) and after (giving you Khloe Kardashian without fillers):
Oh, Infaceables, even though your beauty, magic and glamour was short-lived, you went on to inspire many plastic surgery flowers including the most beautiful plastic surgery flower of them all: Jocelyn Wildenstein. For that, we are forever grateful.