After Sex and the City Number Two was called out as a sequined dried turd by most critics and became a Razzie award winner, the show’s creator and the director of the movies Michael Patrick King said that they had one more
bowel movement movie in them and I took that to mean that he really wanted a bigger summer house in the Hamptons.
Even though the second SATC movie, which splattered onto screens in 2010, was a flop in the hearts of many fans and was offensive on every level, it still made almost $300 million worldwide. So of course those bitches have another story to tell. Jennifer Hudson says that story may be told soon, because someone recently talked to her about a third movie. During an interview with Dish Nation (via E!), JHud spilled this:
“I think it might be [happening]. Somebody just came to me talking about that. So if it’s in the talks, it might happen. So look out for your girl Louise from St. Louis.”
In the file folder labeled “Final SATC movie” in Michael Patrick King’s head, I hope there’s a plot summary in there that reads: “The SATC hos watch Rojo Caliente eat an orange for 2 hours straight.” Now THAT is the only SATC movie I want to see.
But really, we all know what the FINAL SATC story is. They all retire and move into a small, three bedroom tract home in Miami and when they’re not getting into hijinks, they’re laughing over
cosmos cheesecake in the kitchen. Carrie will be played by a Bea Arthur hologram, Samantha will be played by a Rue McClanahan hologram, Miranda will be played by an Estelle Getty hologram and Charlotte will be played by a Betty White hologram (the real Betty White doesn’t want any part of that shit).
And does Sarah Jessica Parker really need MORE money? Look at this trick in NYC the other day. She was out for a casual gallop and found a check for $4,700 on the sidewalk. Money just falls at her hooves!