Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Simon, the “fuck this” cat who is all of us Monday mornings. Hell, who is all of us most mornings.

Simon the cat’s human tried to do something that I’ve seen a few humans try to do and fail miserably at. Simon’s owner tried to get his cats to be dog people by taking them for a walk on a leash. Some cats and leashes go together like Charlie Sheen and nitrous oxide or like butt sex and prunes. It’s not a pretty sight. Sam’s sibling, the ginger cat, went along with it (because ginger cats are chill), but not Sam. Sam is not the kind of pussy who likes being leashed down. As Sam’s human dragged him along the grass like a deflated Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon, silent rage and vengeance filled him.

That is a level 10 Garfield-approved Mondays face if I ever saw one. You should blow up a still of Simon’s face in this video, print it out and tape it to your face before you go into work on Monday, because his face will perfectly capture your feelings.

After this video went viral (because every single cat video on YouTube goes viral), some people screamed “PUSSY ABUSE” and threatened to call CPS (Cat Protective Services), the ASPCA, Annemarie Lucas, Jackson Galaxy, the FBI, President Obama and Nancy Grace (they’re wasting their time by calling Nancy Grace because she would only care if Simon was a white girl cat). Simon’s human defended themselves in a comment on Happy Place. His human says no cats were harmed in the making of this video.

These are my two cats, Simon and Wash. I have seen some people upset by the video and I wish they didn’t feel that way. Both of my cats are wearing a harness specifically made for cats. The leash attaches at their shoulderblades and is designed so that there is no pressure exerted on the neck. It’s very similar to a helicopter harness where the weight is mostly supported at the armpits. The straps are fairly wide. The grass is healthy and is a low-friction surface, in my opinion.

This is the second time that I’ve taken them to this park and they live indoors, so I think that has a lot to do with the way Wash slinks around. Any time that I put something on Simon (like his Stegosaurus costume) he falls over like this and pouts.

I do not think either of them were in any distress and I apologize to those of you who are upset by this video, but I love both of my cats very much and would be heartbroken if they got hurt. River, Simon’s sister, died about a year ago and I cried like a baby for a day.

I’m with the people screaming, “CALL THE AUTHORITIES!” The authorities should be called, but only because they need to have a team of paramedics standing by and waiting to rush over to Simon’s human’s house. Because soon, Simon will get his revenge and when he does, it’ll be the kind of massacre that’ll make us all say, “Lux who?” That revenge face isn’t a threat!

via Buzzfeed

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >