Remember last week? When we thought it couldn’t get any worse than Drake getting a stupid emoji tattoo on his arm? Me too. I just got really bummed out all of a sudden.
Lady Gaga got a new tattoo yesterday, and in case you’re not sure what the hell you’re looking at, it’s the fucked-up looking double-jointed red goth witch claw thing on her left shoulder. Gaag showed off her newest future mistake by posting a picture to Instagram and tagged it with #monster4life, and I know that means she’s a Little Monster for life or whatever, but that’s a bit of a stretch. If anything, #monster4life more accurately describes that she’s got a picture of a monster’s severed hand on her body for the rest of her life. “Oh, so now you’re ripping us off too? TYPICAL!” – said every one-handed Monster.
I understand that Gaag doesn’t exactly have the best judgement when it comes to tattoos (see: what looks to be a deeply embarrassed Blinky Bill on her left elbow) but I still have no idea what the fuck is happening with that hand. After staring at it for a full 10 minutes (I know, I’m a dummy), here’s what I’ve gleaned from that thing: IT’S A MESS. Why are the fingers wrapped up like Asian pears? Why does the pinky look like an heirloom carrot? Is that a rosary or a bathtub drain chain that it’s holding?
But I do like that it looks like those three daisies are running away from it, like: “Oh shit, no thanks. We’ll be up near the busted DAD tattoo if you need us.”
Here’s more of Gaag getting one of Miss Evangeline Ernst’s hands tattooed on her body yesterday with her ass hanging out: