Former Disney ho, sometime toddler-faced singer, and the long-lost fourth member of The Chipettes Selena Gomez recently admitted to Into The Gloss (via E!) that while she has yet to have a full-on head-shaving Mickey Mouse Club meltdown or a wall of mugshots (like some Apricot Ashtrays we know), she still has a hard time dealing with being a super-famous baby rodent. 22-year-old Selena has already been to rehab once this year for her pot/pills/booze/Justin Bieber problem, but it sounds like she’s trying to delay Trip No. 2 (there’s always a second trip to the ‘hab) by getting her shit together before then:
“It’s been such a transitional year for me—I moved out of my parents’ house this year and into my own place. I also took my first break ever and have been using the time to really concentrate on what makes me happy. Sometimes, I’ll be honest, I don’t handle all of this as well as people think, so it’s been important to really figure out what makes me feel grounded.”
Uh, Selena? Who are these people that think you make good decisions? Nobody thinks you’re handling “all of this” well. Reasons?
1. You’re dating Justin Bieber
2. You’re dating Justin Bieber
3. You’re dating Justin Bieber
Not to mention that you’re dating Justin Bieber. Telling someone “I’m dating Justin Bieber” is pretty much the same as saying “Help me, I have terrible judgement and I don’t know what I’m doing. I am making many life mistakes.” And what’s this business about trying to figure out what makes you feel grounded? Chipmunk PLEASE! You just flew to Paris for fashion week! That’s the opposite of grounded! You need some time in a cabin in the woods or some shit. NO BIEBERS ALLOWED!
Here’s more of Selena strolling through LAX with her fly open, probably because she ran out of room in her cheeks to store nuts and seeds. Hey, she heard it’s going to be a long winter!