Nick Jonas Thinks He’s The New Marky Mark

October 2, 2014 / Posted by:

So this is what it looks like when the straight Jonas Brother shamelessly tries to get those pink dollars in his Calvin Klein chonies by pandering to the guy audience. I’m really not mad. I say pander away, you shameless bitch, pander away!

Ever since Nick Jonas tried to de-twink himself by putting muscles on his body, he’s been strolling around with his nipples and three-way happy trial out. Nick took his “pandering to the gays” act to the next level by grabbing his purity balls and flashing the hairy forest that runs between his ass cheeks in Flaunt Magazine. Nick’s obviously trying to shed the Disney off of him by giving us “freshmen frat boy’s first gay porn audition” realness and Pride Source (via Towleroad) recently asked him what he thinks about hos saying he’s baiting gay eyes.

“Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. I think it’s unfortunate that some people have to find a negative in every situation. Clearly my heart is in the right place, and more than anything, if they just looked at my life and my gay friends and the authentic nature of where my heart is, they’d just see that they’re kind of ignorant. The nature of where we are today is, we’re in a time where we need to make strides and step forward as a society and embrace all people from all different walks of life. When you’re trying to make a bold statement like that, some people aren’t gonna fall in line with that. And that’s OK. You gotta stay on your own path.”

I wish there was video of this, because I bet Nick ate a banana during that interview. Nick recently had his teeth whitened so he couldn’t bite into that banana between spitting out words. So he had to deep throat it and let it slowly melt in his mouth before he swallowed it all. But he’s not pandering.

Who cares if Nick Jonas is trying to get money from the gays by showing off his ass crack pubes. Marky Mark did it whether his dumb ass knew it or not. Those Calvin Klein Marky Mark pictures and the men’s underwear section of the JcPenney catalog helped me how to fap properly as a young gay. Every young gay needs a Marky Mark and I guess Nick Jonas is the Marky Mark for today’s young gays….

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