A Lawyer For Several Celebrities Involved In The Fappening Is Threatening To Sue Google For $100 Million

October 2, 2014 / Posted by:

The Fappening is still happening. Nearly every weekend, a new batch of freshly-baked stolen nipple pics are pulled from the oven of the internet and posted online for weirdos and not-rights to rub their dicks to until the next batch appears a week later. So far, those crafty cloud hackers show no sign of stopping, and Apple has pretty much pulled a Shaggy “It wasn’t me” by denying that the cloud is about as secure as an actual cloud. So who is left to blame? According to Lawyer-To-The-STAHS Marty Singer, that would be Google.

Page Six says that Marty, who represents over a dozen of the women in the hacked photos, claims Google is making millions off advertising revenue off the nude pics and they need to PAY UP. So Marty wrote a stern letter and sent it to Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, as well as executive chairman of Google Eric Schmidt, accusing them of “making millions and profiting from the victimization of women” and warning them that if they don’t delete every last nipple pic off the internet, he’s prepared to sue them for $100 million. He also compares Google to the NFL:

“Because the victims are celebrities with valuable publicity rights you do nothing — nothing but collect millions of dollars in advertising revenue … as you seek to capitalize on this scandal rather than quash it. Like the NFL, which turned a blind eye while its players assaulted and victimized women and children, Google has turned a blind eye while its sites repeatedly exploit and victimize these women.”

You can read the whole letter at Page Six, but the TL:DR is basically: “I keep asking you to delete all the nipple pics, but there are still nipple pics. Nipple pics: why are they still on internet?”

I’m a dummy who barely knows what an ethernet cable is (I think it has to do with a download?) and even I know that you can’t really sue Google for the hacked nipple pics. Right? Google doesn’t own the internet, so it’s not like they can wipe the internet clean of A-list nipples. Not to mention the fact that I highly doubt Google is making that much ad revenue off the pictures. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember ever clicking on a YouTube video and having to sit through a 30-second commercial for Kate Upton’s naked chichis first.

But I do appreciate his crazy effort. Marty Singer is threatening to sue Google for ONE HUNDRED MEELLION DOLLARS because horny dudes keep sharing topless cellphone pictures of Katniss Everdeen. You know what? If he does go through with that lawsuit, he’s going to need some help with all that crazy! Marty needs crazy Lawyer-To-The-Pictures-Of-STAHS Svitlana Sangary! I’m sure she’s already “worked” with some of his clients.

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