Night Crumbs

September 29, 2014 / Posted by:

In Maroon 5’s video for “Animals,” humanized used tampon Adam Levine stalks his real-life wife Behati Prinsloo and humps on a piece of meat in a slaughterhouse while thinking about doing her. Adam Levine should be fined for thinking he’s Patrick Bateman and for contaminating all that meat with his skankness. You know, an inspector from the health department should just go ahead and slap an F on that video and shut it down  – Lainey Gossip 

Have Lifetime’s Prison Wives been in prison too? Because they all look like they were in a prison yard shiv fight with Vee from Orange is the New Black and lost – Reality Tea

Laura Jeanne Poon is a complex human being who has many different shades and most of those shades are plastered as hell – Celebitchy

Emily Ratajkowski thinks she’s Kate MossDrunken Stepfather

Well, it could be worse, Lena Dunham could be paying her book tour opening acts with copies of her book – The Superficial

An 11-year-old got injured while partying at a club at 1 in the morning, and you probably didn’t even finish that sentence before you started shouting, “It has to be Florida!” – WWTDD

Aretha Franklin’s cover of “Rolling In The Deep” is an auto-tuned NO, but her Photoshopped eyebrows are a thing of exquisite beauty and have got me rolling in the deep – Towleroad

Second tier Elvira impersonator + a hooker who sort of looks like Cher = Jessie J’s look – Hollywood Tuna

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH – Jezebel

Who the hell would want to talk to Taylor Swift anyway? I’d just want to talk to Olivia BensonICYDK

Here’s Channing Tatum’s nipples, if that’s what you need today – Popsugar

Megan Fox’s face looks different and even her kid is having a “Harpo, who dis woman?” moment – Popoholic

This puppy needs walking lessons from Miss JayThe Berry

Couldn’t have happened to a shittier douche – OMG Blog

We’re living in a world where crime lab technicians who have gone to school to be crime lab technicians have to test SpaghettiO residue to see if it’s really meth – Gawker

Everyone involved in Avengers 3 decided they weren’t making enough millions so they’re splitting the movie into two – Pajiba

Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig show you how to deal with a reporter who’s pretending like he saw your movie when he didn’t – HuffPo

Um, it’s obvious that Brad Pitt and St. Angie Jolie didn’t go to George Clooney’s wedding in Venice because they knew their piping hot star power and blazing holy gloriousness would’ve sucked up all the attention  – Just Jared

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