Night Crumbs
In Maroon 5’s video for “Animals,” humanized used tampon Adam Levine stalks his real-life wife Behati Prinsloo and humps on a piece of meat in a slaughterhouse while thinking about doing her. Adam Levine should be fined for thinking he’s Patrick Bateman and for contaminating all that meat with his skankness. You know, an inspector from the health department should just go ahead and slap an F on that video and shut it down – Lainey Gossip
Have Lifetime’s Prison Wives been in prison too? Because they all look like they were in a prison yard shiv fight with Vee from Orange is the New Black and lost – Reality Tea
Laura Jeanne Poon is a complex human being who has many different shades and most of those shades are plastered as hell – Celebitchy
Emily Ratajkowski thinks she’s Kate Moss – Drunken Stepfather
Well, it could be worse, Lena Dunham could be paying her book tour opening acts with copies of her book – The Superficial
An 11-year-old got injured while partying at a club at 1 in the morning, and you probably didn’t even finish that sentence before you started shouting, “It has to be Florida!” – WWTDD
Aretha Franklin’s cover of “Rolling In The Deep” is an auto-tuned NO, but her Photoshopped eyebrows are a thing of exquisite beauty and have got me rolling in the deep – Towleroad
Second tier Elvira impersonator + a hooker who sort of looks like Cher = Jessie J’s look – Hollywood Tuna
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH – Jezebel
Who the hell would want to talk to Taylor Swift anyway? I’d just want to talk to Olivia Benson – ICYDK
Here’s Channing Tatum’s nipples, if that’s what you need today – Popsugar
Megan Fox’s face looks different and even her kid is having a “Harpo, who dis woman?” moment – Popoholic
This puppy needs walking lessons from Miss Jay – The Berry
Couldn’t have happened to a shittier douche – OMG Blog
We’re living in a world where crime lab technicians who have gone to school to be crime lab technicians have to test SpaghettiO residue to see if it’s really meth – Gawker
Everyone involved in Avengers 3 decided they weren’t making enough millions so they’re splitting the movie into two – Pajiba
Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig show you how to deal with a reporter who’s pretending like he saw your movie when he didn’t – HuffPo
Um, it’s obvious that Brad Pitt and St. Angie Jolie didn’t go to George Clooney’s wedding in Venice because they knew their piping hot star power and blazing holy gloriousness would’ve sucked up all the attention – Just Jared