Jeremy Renner Got Secret Married To His Daughter’s Mom

September 24, 2014 / Posted by:

Seen above wearing a ring on his hitchin’ finger at a screening for his movie Kill The Messenger in DC last night, Grumpy Cat’s human twin Jeremy Renner confirmed to Capitol File Magazine that he’s married to the model and actress type he knocked up a couple of years ago. Cue up the blind items that say that Kelly Preston has proudly welcomed a newest member to the Beard Wife Hall of Fame Club!

During the interview, the reporter from Capitol File probably noticed the ring he’s been wearing and straight up asked his 43-year-old ass if he’s married to his 22-year-old baby mother Sonni Pacheco. Jeremy dribbled out a “yes” and went on to say that he hasn’t come out as a married man, because he cares about the privacy of his wife and their 17-month-old daughter Ava Berlin (who, thanks to that name, is destined to become a gay club cabaret singer in Germany):

I have tried to protect my family’s privacy, my wife’s privacy. I don’t need her to get hammered with my life. Privacy issues are important because I want her to go about her day without being bothered. Yeah… Paps follow me, [and] that’s fine. But it’s annoying being followed when I’m with my family. It’s not just me—everyone [in Hollywood] has to deal with that. I’ve been talked about a whole lot, because the less I put out there, the less people know, and it makes it interesting, I assume.

When he said, “need her to get hammered with,” I expected him to go in a completely different direction than where he went. I think what he means by “protect my family’s privacy” is “Eh, I’ve gotta a movie to sell, so why not drop that little headline maker?”

Hawkeye then went on to gush pure sap from all of his pores while talking about how much he loves his daughter and how he wants to be around her all the time. Jeremy Renner talks about his kid the same way I talk about Hostess Zingers.

It’s the best thing I have ever done—doing it later on in life. By then I achieved a lot of things that I wanted to achieve; I’m so blessed for that. Now I can really spend time with the family. The only thing I think about when I’m not with my baby is, How do I get to my baby? I need to get to her, and I’m very miserable when I don’t see her. I really love being a father. The only thing that has changed is my perspective on things. I still work, probably even more. It used to be for myself so I’m not old and broke. All these things I still do, but I do it now for the future of my baby, and if it gets in the way of her well-being, then I stop.

She’s 17 months old. It is just the best age. I can’t wait for her to get older, but I really enjoy her now. She’s the greatest. She’s into her sticker phase. Yes. As a father, I’m going to make it very difficult for her to find a man.

Well, if Jeremy wants to keep the dudes away from his daughter, all he has to do is make her date watch Hansel & Gretchen: Witch Hunters. Dude will bust out of that house and Jeremy and his daughter will never hear from him again.

Jeremy will probably never release pictures of his wedding to his child bride, but I hope he does one day, because I really want to see how on point his wedding day eyeliner game was.

Here’s Hawkeye, Sonni Pacheco (that’s my favorite Price Is Right game) and their daughter in Nashville last May.

Pics: Getty, FameFlynet

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