Allison Williams and I share more than a first name; we also share the same “da fuq??” face when looking at the first picture of Christopher Walken as Captain Hook for NBCs upcoming Peter Pan Live! Although mine is more of a “da fuq kind of low-budget Party City pirate shit is this?” and hers is more of a “da fuq have I gotten myself into?”
We already know what Allison Williams will look like as Peter Pan (aka the broken condom baby of a snobby pre-law Yale student named Skip Chipperton and Tank Girl), but today NBC released the first picture of Christopher Walken dressed in discount Dustin Hoffman drag , and it’s every bit as beautiful and messy as I hoped it would be. Christopher Walken can do no wrong in my eyes, so even if he showed up in a shitty plastic hook hand and a t-shirt that says THIS IS MY CAPTAIN HOOK COSTUME, I’d still be on board. Even if that hook looks a lot like a hotel room coat hanger.
Looking at Christopher Walken as Hook is like an I Spy game; there’s so many parts of his face that are fighting my eyes for attention. That eyeshadow! That beauty mark! Those eyebrows! Those hacked-up cheekbones! THAT MOUSTACHE! He looks like Ming the Merciless burped on Jackie Stallone. I LOVE IT!
The only thing I can’t get behind are those tragic burgundy corduroy leggings. Who’s the costume designer, Shia LaBeouf?