No, as far as I know, it’s not viral marketing for American Horror Story: Freak Show. It’s just another foolery-filled story for the Florida files. The two go hand in hand, really.
Nowadays, fame whores really have to do some crazy shit to stand out in a field of fame whores and this Tampa blossom knows this, so she really brought the WTF to get spotlights on her. 21-year-old Jasmine Tridevil (believe it or not, that’s not her real name) brought Total Recall to life by getting a third tit installed in her chest, because she wants to be a reality TV star. Well, having 3 huge tits got Pimp Mama Kris a reality show and look where she is today! Jasmine tells Real Radio 104.1 (via HuffPo) that she called 50 plastic surgeons before she found one shady enough to make it possible for two dudes to titty fuck her at the same time. You’d think that after the 49th plastic surgeon hung up on her, she’d think to herself, “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” But really, she only needed to call one plastic surgeon: Jocelyn Wildenstein’s private plastic surgeon, because that shifty bitch will obviously do anything.
Jasmine, who’s a massage therapist, says that the middle tit implant cost her $20,000 and it included a nipple implant. She had a fake areola tattooed around her middle nipple. She’s already hired a camera crew to follow her around and she wants to pitch a reality show to MTV. She’s already booked appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live (hmmmm) and Inside Edition. Jasmine didn’t only do it to get attention from reality TV producers. She also did it so she’d get less sexual attention from dudes:
“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore. Most guys would think [the extra breast is] weird and gross. But I can still feel pretty because if I wore makeup and cute clothes, I can still, you know… feel pretty.”
That’s a genius idea, because if there’s one thing that turns straight dudes off it’s MORE TITS. Somewhere a dude is calling 50 plastic surgeons, because he wants to get a second mouth and tongue installed on his face so he can motorboat Jasmine’s trio of chichis at the same time.
Jasmine says that her mom has pretty much disowned her and her third tit over this:
“My mum ran out of the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad… he really isn’t happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it.”
I usually believe everything that comes out of Florida, because it’s Florida, but I don’t know about this. First of all, where did that shady plastic surgeon get the extra skin to hold that middle implant in? Second of all, Jimmy Kimmel’s name was mentioned in this story and anything that involves Jimmy Kimmel should be looked at with a suspicious side-eye.
I can’t totally hate on Jasmine Tridevil. Yes, she’s taken fame whoring to a new terrifying level, but I’d much rather watch a reality shit show about a trick with three tits than another reality shit show starring Pimp Mama Kris and her three twats. And I’d really be into Jasmine’s three tits if she named them Chynna, Carnie and Wendy after Wilson Phillips. The one on the left is obviously the Carnie since it’s bigger than the other two.
And here’s a video of Jasmine’s tripletitties in motion:
Pics: Facebook (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)