For those of you going “WHO????“, that would be Johnny Depp’s thirsty gold digging fiance, remember? I know, it’s been a while. So the sequel to The Fappening happened this weekend, but just like everything in Hollywood, that shit was split into two parts for maximum exposure. The first part happened on Saturday morning, when that sneaky cloud hacker released a new batch of stolen nipple pics, including ones belonging to Kim Kardashian, Gabrielle Union, Hope Solo, and more pics of Jennifer Lawrence.
Then part two happened on Sunday morning, when the same cloud hacker (or a secret underground ring of basement-dwelling cloud-hacking chronic masturbators) released nipple pics of Rihanna (THE AUDACITY!) and Johnny Depp’s fiance Amber Heard. According to TMZ, the hackers released over 50 topless pictures of Amber Heard to 4chan and Reddit, and they say it may be the biggest invasion of privacy since JLaw and Kate Upton were hacked a month ago.
No word on whether or not there are any pics of her rubbing on Johnny Depps’s dirty hobo pirate peen (I hope not), but TMZ says there is one picture of her holding up a sign that’s clearly a message to Johnny, since she refers to him as “Tonto”. Or maybe she was trying to send a message to Jay Silverheels up in Heaven?
This Fappening 2 mess is infuriating on so many levels (still no dick pics), but the thing I have the most trouble understanding is how the hackers are still able to steal shit from the cloud. Wasn’t the FBI supposed to put a padlock on the cloud? How in the FUCK are the hackers getting into the cloud? Are they working with the Care Bears? That’s gotta be it! I bet that prudish lesson-teaching bitch Grams Bear is behind all this!