Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 21, 2014 / Posted by:

The tension-taming calm goddess on the box of Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer tea! 

The other day I was in the tea aisle at Target and I could hear the sound of Miss Coco Peru, famed drag artiste and star of Trick, disappointedly shaking her head back and forth while snapping her lips in disgust, because they didn’t have any Celestial Seasonings Tension Taymuh tea. Last year around the holiday times, Miss Coco Peru was feeling the tension, so she began her journey to find the elusive Tension Taymuh tea and she documented her adventures and put it on her YouTube channel. SPOILER ALERT: Her adventures had a sad, tragic, ending because she never found it.

So every time I’m in the tea section of any store, I look for Tension Tamer tea and I’ve never found it either. Why the hell don’t stores in the L.A. area want bitches to tame their tension? If they’re not going to sell the good shit at Target, they should at least sell Tension Tamer tea. It’s a government and pharmaceutical industry conspiracy, obviously. They want us to turn to Xanax and Valium to tame our tension when we can’t find any Tension Tamer tea! No wonder everyone is fucking crazy around here. They don’t have Tension Tamer tea to calm their asses. Hmmm, I wonder if your tension will really be tamed if you smoke Tension Tamer tea since mostly everything is better when smoked. I’ll never find out because I’ll never find a box of Tension Tamer tea.

I don’t know why nerds slobber over that Khaleesi chick from Game of Thrones. The calm maiden in the stunning red gown on the box of Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer tea is the true Queen of the Dragons. She tamed that dragon so hard that she can use it as a sofa to sit on while she sips her Tension Tamer tea.

If you haven’t seen Miss Coco Peru’s quest for Tension Tamer tea, here it is below. It’s tense, so it’s best to watch while sipping some Tension Tamer tea and if you don’t have any of that, watch it while snorting some crushed Valium like the pharmaceutical companies want you to!

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