When Jay-Z casually (read: deliberately, as was instructed by Beyoncé and her cabal of sentient wigs) alluded to an unnamed “she” being pregnant with her second child during one of the last We Want Attention shows in Paris last Saturday, it might not actually have been the BREAKING BEY-BY NEWS we thought it was. According to OK! magazine (via Hollywood Life), Beyoncé spilled the bey-eans that she’s started shopping for pillows back in August at Kelly Rowland’s baby shower.
An attendee claims that Bey told her friends at the party that “Baby No. 2 was on the way”, which obviously means she received confirmation that the Illuminati has shipped her new baby from their headquarters under the Pentagon and it should arrive between 32 to 36 weeks. Please pay all applicable taxes and duties upon delivery. Sorry, no refunds.
But back to Beyoncé announcing the news of her second bey-by at Kelly Rowland’s baby shower. Would Beyoncé actually make Kelly’s special day all about Beyoncé? SHE WOULD! There’s no way Beyoncé was ever going to let Kelly “Second Lead Vocalist” Rowland steal the spotlight! I bet she walked in with a diaper cake like “Kelly, this diaper cake is for…MOI! Because I’m going to have another baby! Aren’t you all thrilled? Kelly, ask your fetus if it’s thrilled. Then ask your fetus to stay 3 feet behind me, because it’s sort-of in my spotlight.”
Meanwhile, Michelle Williams just found out the news today. No, not Bey’s baby news; the news that Kelly Rowland had a baby shower. “Uh…I guess my invitation got lost in the mail? Yeah, that’s it.“