Mayim Bialik, the grown-up hat-less version of Blossom, took a break from hissing at toddler-faced jailbait-looking baby stripper Ariana Grande Latte to put some damn clothes on to take a swipe at Disney’s Frozen. But what could Blossom possibly hate about Frozen? Well, besides hearing “Let It Go” for the 4,97,246th time. Am I forgetting a scene where Elsa ditches her dress for a pair of hot pants and some hooker heels and grinds against Olaf’s carrot?
No. Apparently Blossom hates Frozen because there wasn’t enough of a Feminism message, but also there was too much male-bashing. Blossom explained on Kveller (via UsWeekly) that she HATED Frozen with the fire of a thousand burning Blossom hats for three reasons:
1. She hated that Elsa’s sister Anna’s identity was tied up in trying to land a man
2. She hated that Prince Hans turns out the be a lie-telling double-crossing scheming asshole, thus teaching little girls not to trust men
3. She hated that Elsa and Anna looked like dolls
Damn, she got all that from a children’s movie about a chick who makes snow with her hands? I guess that’s why she has a PhD and I have a fake diploma printed on the back of a menu from a college-themed restaurant called Pasta Academy (I majored in deliciousness with a minor in all-you-can-eat breadsticks).
I sort of get what she’s saying. Yes, Elsa and Anna look like they were conceived during a messy night at the Mattel factory between a skinny piece of plastic and a giant eye, and yes, Anna wants a ring on her goddamn finger ASAP so she can live happily ever after. But that’s because this is a Disney movie! Complaining about that is like walking into John Travolta’s wiglet closet (it’s a big closet) and getting pissed that it’s filled with fake hair.
But was it really male-bashing to make Prince Hans an asshole? Aren’t most Princes massive pricks? (“HOW DARE YOU” – Michael K, clutching a framed picture of Prince Hot Ginge).