That didn’t take long. Two days after TMZ posted police audio from that messy “Daniele Watts vs. the LAPD” situation, they posted pictures of Daniele Watts and her boyfriend Brian James Lucas allegedly getting into some daytime car sex fun times in a Mercedes parked on a street near CBS Studios in Studio City, CA. I see you, Mr. Green Shirt. I see you trying not to turn to your right to get a full view of the afternoon fuck show.
Daniele and Brian wrote on Facebook and later told the media that they were only kissing in their car and weren’t doing anything wrong. But then TMZ heard from witnesses who claim that Daniele and Brian weren’t only making out, but they were also straight up boning with the passenger door wide open for everyone to see. When TMZ posted that little tidbit, I filed it directly under “PICS OR GTFO.” Well, leave it to TMZ to get the pics.
A witness tells TMZ that he works in the building where Daniele and Brian got down in front of. The witness says that she straddled Brian while he was in the passenger seat and her nipples were out in the open because she pulled her shirt up. Dude says Daniele was grinding on Brian while holding onto the opened sunroof to steady herself. The witness says that Brian began “horizontally bongoing her boobs back and forth.” Either the witness just outed himself as Matthew McConaughey or Brian is Matthew McConaughey’s long-lost brother.
At one point, the witness says that someone from his office went downstairs and tried to figuratively knock the dick out of Daniele’s cooch by telling her and Brian to quit doing it because everyone in the building could see. Daniel and Brian gave no fucks (except for getting fucked), because they ignored the complainer and kept on, kept on. The witness said that when they were done, Daniele and Brian wiped their parts down with a Kleenex and threw that cum rag on the grass. Someone in the office called the cops and reported them for indecent exposure.
Daniele and Brian are sticking with their story. They tell Buzzfeed that you can’t see shit in the pictures and they were only making out with the car door open. Brian says that if they were going to do it in the car, they’d find a place where no one was around, close the door and hang stuff up in the windows.
LAPD Sgt. Jim Parker, the cop who put Daniele into handcuffs, told The Los Angeles Times that race never crossed his mind when he asked Daniele and Brian for their IDs. He thought it was going to be an easy call. He figured he would check their IDs, let them go on with their lives and leave, but then it got messy.
“I figured I could take care of this call and go get coffee and that was it. I was trying to ID them and leave – nobody wanted them arrested for having sex in public. But then she went into her tirade.”
Daniele refused to show her ID because she says it’s within her constitutional rights to not show her ID if she did nothing wrong. The ACLU backs her up. The LAPD says that she’s required by law to show her ID to a cop:
“If officers have stopped you with a reasonable suspicion or they received a radio call about a crime suspected to be in progress — like there are people having sex in their car with the door open — they can demand ID. You can’t have sex in public, it’s a violation of Penal Code 647A, lewd and lascivious acts.”
Ha. That LAPD rep said “sex” and “penal” in the same sentence.
Those pictures really don’t show anything besides a busted bumper (that’s not a euphemism). She could only be dry humping him in the passenger seat while making out. She could also be riding his dick with the car door open in front of an office building on a weekday in broad daylight. If the latter is true, then I’m going to need to see their IDs too. Because I want to know the full names of my new dirty bitch heroes! Those, nasty, sucio, kinky fucks.